


Hurricane

by deme_lu



Series: Boys don't cry series [2]
Category: alice9, the GazettE (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Age Difference (slight), First Love, Heartbreak, Homophobia, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deme_lu/pseuds/deme_lu
Summary: Takanori didn't expect to have his life turned upside down so suddenly. Somehow his heart didn't let him any choice, not when it began to beat for that boy only. Would he only change a thing if only he knew where this would lead them? Not sure, because sometimes love is just too strong to be ignored.
Relationships: Ruki (the GazettE)/Tora (Alice Nine)
Series: Boys don't cry series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741018
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy! 
> 
> So, it seems that there are still people following BDC. I'm very happy about it. To celebrate this, ans as a thank you for the ones who fought their shyness and let a comment on the previous chap, I will update a week earlier. This is kinda the prequel of Boys don't cry, the reason why Takanori wanted so bad to have his revenge. I have to warn you, this is not going to end well, as you could all expect. I didn't plan to write it first, but then it popped up in my mind and I had the perfect guy to make Takanori fall in love with. I have a big, big soft spot for Tora myself, so I couldn't blame Takanori for falling for him, haha. And you have to admit, the height difference is kinda cute, right? 
> 
> I chose to post it separately too, if people just liked to check on it as an individual story. 
> 
> Next updates for BDC will be the development of this love story for the two or three following chapters, then we will return to the Valentine Ball to check on our boys. I thought it would be easier to understand the situation once we would all know what happened beteween Tora and Taka previously.
> 
> Anyway,I hope you'll enjoy!

The morning was beautiful, the sun high in the sky as a good omen of the beginning of the new school year, and Taka had came early to Yuu and Yutaka's home. Their mother had made sure Yuu had texted him the day before to invite him for breakfast, and had prepared them a lot of pancakes and to add to the miso soup and the fried eggs and left overs from the night before. She loved to pamper her boys, and somehow Takanori was included in "her boys", as the three kids had been friends since forever, and as Takanori spent a lot of time at her home since his mother's tragic death several years ago. So the teenager was more than welcome at Shiroyama's place, as long as the man of the family was not there.

(Mr Shiroyama was a stern and hard father, who could barely stand his own children. He was constantly faulting them and nothing they could do found favor in his eyes, nothing was never good enough for him. He was therefore in permanent conflict with Yuu, who had a very strong temper and refused to let himself (or his little brother) being brought down, and the father and his eldest son had numerous fights, which often concluded with Yuu being harshly punished and sometimes even being beaten. Yutaka was more submissive, and he never contradicted his father, who took great pleasure in belittling his youngest child, never missing an occasion to tell him how much of a disappointment and a failure he was. This made Yuu so mad that he often got beaten for taking his brother's defense. The usually warm atmosphere of their home turned cold and unwelcoming as soon as the family's father was there. Which luckily wasn't that often, since he worked a lot and always came back home late. His sons avoided him like the plague, and Takanori had learnt to disappear quickly whenever he heard Mr Shiroyama's car stopping in front of the house.)

They'd eaten the delicious breakfast, chatting and laughing and sharing their good mood with the boy's mother, and then they'd walked to school.

Takanori and Yuu were excited. They were beginning their last year in college and they felt like the world was theirs to conquer. Yutaka was happy too, but as he was two years younger than Yuu (and one year younger than Takanori, who was one year ahead of his scholarship due to his excellent grades), he would stay in his current school for two years more. It didn't bothered him that much though, because his girlfriend would be there with him too, and that's what was more important to him.

They separated from the youngest at the school's gate, waving at him, and headed for their first classes of the morning: they would begin with two hours of Japanese, that would be followed by two hours of Art. The japanese class ended quickly, and they found themselves sitting side by side in the Art room soon after. It was one of their favorite class, and they couldn't wait to start working on projects. The art teacher of their school, Nakamura-Sensei, an old and jolly man, entered the classroom and greeted them warmly.

"Good morning, young padawans" (Nakamura-sensei was a crazy Star Wars fanboy, and he never failed to make references to his favorite movies). "Hope you took all the opportunities you could have during the holidays to rest and enjoy life, and maybe practise a bit light-saber technics, hehe. As you all know, I'm not getting younger, and a powerful jedi like me has to ensure that he lets his legacy in this world. That's why this year we will have the great honor and joy to welcome my own personnal padawan, who will take care of some of you and teach you arts his way, while he would benefit of my own wisdom and experience. I hope all of you will treat him well and with all the respect he deserves. It's not easy for a young Professor to begin with students, so I personnaly chose some of you who've already shown some skills in this class, to make it more enjoyable for him."

Yuu leant to whisper into Taka's ear.

"Oh god I do hope we'll be in Nakamura-Sensei's group. His classes are always so great..."

"I wish we were. But if we're being logical, we're the most talented students in arts, so we will undoubtfully be in the young teacher's group. Damn."

Indeed, the old man was now calling the names of ten students and theirs were obviously on the list.

Seeing the lack of enthusiasm on their faces, and as they seem to linger in the room longer then they really needed, he patted them in the back as they were passing by his desk.

"It's heartbreaking for me to have to do without your talents, boys, and I'm happy you seem to like me probably more than what I really deserve, but I'm sure you'll be overjoyed soon to learn from your new teacher. He's really amazingly good, and with pupils like you he will definitely see how rewarding it is to teach. Besides, we'll be doing common projects sometimes, so I'll have the pleasure to work with you again, ok?"

They nodded reluctantly, and finally got out of the room, throwing a last glance to their old teacher, and failing to look where they were walking. Takanori was about to tell something to Yuu when he collided with someone running, sending his supplies and the things the guy he just hit was carrying flying around, and making him lose his balance. He frowned and he was about to scold the intruder for his reckless running, when two strong arms caught him before he'd fell on the floor, and he found himself diving into a pair of soft hazelnut eyes.

He instantly felt silent, forgetting all about giving the guy a piece of his mind about his attitude.

He didn't recognized him, whose worried look turned into an intense gaze, said eyes widening a bit and boring right to his soul. They silently stared at each other for some seconds, Takanori still securely hold in the stranger's arms, absent mindedly noticing how good he smelled, how strong his arms were, and how tall he was-damn... He would say later that he probably would still be there if Yuu hadn't cleared his throat then, breaking whatever weird spell his best friend and this giant guy were under.

"Damn... I'm sorry... I-I wasn't looking..." Takanori stuttered, a bit embarrassed.

"No, it's my fault, I shouldn't have run and... Are you okay?"

"Yeah, thank you. Errr... Maybe we should pick up our stuff now..."

The guy chuckled and scratched his neck in such a childish manner– and Takanori's heart started to beat faster...

"Are you new here?" Takanori blurted all of a sudden, handing him some folders he'd just gathered from the floor.

"Yeah, we could say that! I needed to talk to Nakamura-Sensei before going to my next class. Guess I'll see you around?" The newcomer said with an axpecting smile, walking backwards towards their old teacher's room, obviously waiting for an answer.

"Err... Sure!" They waved at each other awkwardly, before the guy turned to enter the classroom. Takanori was still standing int he middle of the hallway, watching as the door was closed.

"What the fuck was that?" Yuu asked, his eyebrow raised in confusion. " This was the perfect illustration of a "love at first sight" experience! Man, this guy looked at you like you were everything he'd been looking for all his life. That was creepy as hell!"

"Don't be stupid! We just banged into each other, no big deal" Takanori mumbled, trying to play cool but failing miserably as he was blushing madly.

"Oh, _banged_ was definitely not the word you should have used here, Taka!" Yuu began to cackle. "Look at you, all flustered and tomato-red. I'm going to thank this guy because honestly, I have enough material here to tease you about for weeks."

Takanori rolled his eyes and gave him his middle finger, and they hurried to the next door, relieved to see that there were only the eight other students chosen by Nakamura-Sensei there, and that the new teacher wasn't already in the classroom. They chose to sit at the front raw, and prepared their art supplies, Takanori cursing because Yuu was keeping on with the teasing.

"Ahhh, shut up, Yuu, you're such a pain in the ass! Come on, grow-up a little and-"

The sound of the closing door made him stop. He sat on his chair before returning his attention to the newcomer, his jaw falling a bit slack when his brain proceeded what the guy was saying.

"Good morning everyone! Hope you're not too disappointed to not follow Nakamura-sensei classes, and that you'll find me worthy enough of your attention. I will have the priviledge to teach you arts, my name's Amano-Sensei, and I'm honoured to meet you all." When his eyes landed on Takanori, a shy smile spread on his lips. "Oh, it looks like I already met some of my students..."

Takanori couldn't help but smile sheepishly in return, his cheeks reddening anew, while Yuu was giggling exasperatingly.

During theirs first class, Amano-sensei asked them to introduce themselves, and to tell him their expectations for their last year of middle school, in terms of arts and in general. He listened to them all carefully, a warm smile on his face. Yuu was the last one before Takanori, and he spoke cheerfully, making the whole class laugh at his words whith one of his jokes -Takanori would be damned if he could register anything that was happening there, he couldn't even recall Yuu's words. He was enraptured with the young man's facial features, the gorgeous lips, the playful tone, the way his brows furrowed when he was reflecting on something one of the students was telling him, how deep his hazelnut eyes were.

He was a bit caught off guard when the students turned towards him, the young teacher asking him with an expectant smile. "And what about you?"

"Me...?...Ahem? I... I don't know..."

The teacher looked at him with a gentle smile, quircking an eyebrow.

"You could already begin by your name, maybe?"

And Takanori swore he could have slapped Yuu at this moment, his friends bent over his desk in irresistible giggles, while he was trying to not die from embarrasment.

"Oh! Yes, sure, sorry! I'm Takanori Matsumoto..."

"Takanori." Amano-sensei looked delightfully surprised. "So that's you! Nakamura -Sensei talked a lot about you. In a good way of course. He thinks highly of your artistic skills, and I'm quite looking forward working with you."

"Th-Thank you, Sensei. I'm looking forward to it too."

And Yuu kept on laughing. Dumbass.

He also kept on teasing Takanori the whole week, always finding a way to slide an allusion to their new teacher in the conversation, seeing how flustered Takanori got. The teenager wanted to believe that this weird thing that was happening to him when he thought about Amano-sensei would dissipate in the week, it was something that wouldn't last.

He was so wrong.

Whenever he caught a glimpse of the young man, his heart was trying to escape from his ribcage, and it didn't help that, if Amano-sensei noticed him in the hallway or the school yard, he always found a way to come to Takanori to talk a bit with him, about random things. He always looked happy to see him, and it sent Taka in a state nearing euphoria each fucking time it occured.

He tried -and somehow succeeded- to act normally around him at the last art class of the week, and couldn't help but exhale noisily at the end of it. He'd warned Aoi before the class that if he didn't shut his mouth and cut the teasing he'd punch him, and the exasperated tone he'd taken to speak to his best friend had been heard as serious as it was, because Takanori was really beginning to have enough of all this, the teasing, the stupid butterflies in his belly, the unexpected crush – for one of his teacher, goddammit, he wasn't a chick to act like this! - the giddiness when they were in the same room.

It hadn't prevented Yuu to keep his hell of a smirk on his face the whole time, though.

Takanori all but flew from the classroom, aggravated by his own weakness. He'd never been one to let himself been carried away by his emotions, and yet these two hours had been almost too much for him to bear. He was mad, and he wanted it to end. And he also wanted Amano-sensei to stop, the young man always showering him with nice words, encouragements, praising him for his ideas. And he had to stop being that gorgeous, too. That wasn't fair.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Yuu was there, frowning.

"Hey. Why didn't you wait for me?"

Takanori sighed.

"I planned to wait for you at the gates, actually. I..."

Yuu looked at him apologeticaly. He could see how distressed his best friend was at the moment, and suddenly he was concerned.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I can see you're not feeling good, and I didn't thought it affected you that much. Sometimes I don't know when to stop my bullshit, you know? You've been tensed, and edgy all week, and I don't know exactly what to say to make you feel better. You have it bad, right?"

"I'm just... tired? I hope so. It's just... I can't stop thinking about him. And despite all my efforts, I'm always trying to catch sight of him whenever I'm here. That's really stupid of me. I don't know what got into me, seriously..."

Yuu made a face, and caught something in his backpack.

"That won't help you much... Amano-sensei gave this to me, for you. He wanted to keep you a bit after the class. It's a book about Art Nouveau, as you talked about it on our previous session, and he wanted to lend it to you, but you kinda escaped before he could catch you..."

Taka was both relieved -stay with the young teacher alone in a classroom... Ahhhhh no thank you, his heart wouldn't take any of this- and frustrated – he could have stayed in the empty classroom and enjoy the teacher's presence by himself, what a fool he'd been to run away, honestly!- ... But at the end, he was above all delighted, because the young man had thought about him, about a talk they'd had together, and he'd wanted to share something with him. He caught the book with reverence. There was a bit of paper in the book, at the first page.

_You talked so beautifully about Art Nouveau,_

_maybe you'd like to read this?_

_Have a great week-end, see you on Monday!_

_Tora-_

His heartbeat was threateningly fast, and the beaming smile that spread on lips soon replaced by a face when he noticed Yuu's worried stare. He groaned.

"Oh my god... I'm so fucked."

They'd spend the evening at Yuu and Yutaka's house -their father was out of town for a couple of days- playing video games and talking. The two brothers had helped Taka to play down things, of course it happened to have an unwilling crush on someone, and of course if he tried to ignore it, it would go away. He'd felt a bit better when he'd let them to come back home, and he was convinced everything would be all right as long as he followed the plan.

Ignore him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!!
> 
> Here's chapter 2 of Hurricane/chapter 20 of Boys Don't Cry... I'm sorry I couldn't update later, hopefully I will be able to deliver quickly next time... Enjoy?

On saturday, he'd prepared to go out for some errands. Since his mother's death, Takanori was handling mostly all the chores in his house. His father wasn't home often, and he'd declared that it wasn't his job to take care of their home. Takanori hadn't protested, anyway it wouldn't have changed anything. So after a bit of cleaning -which was quick, because the two of them were quite organised and clean, - and a bit of laundry, Takanori prepared a list and caught his wallet, deciding on a early afternoon grocery shopping, that would leave him enough time to read and make his homeworks later.

The weather was nice, it was difficult to believe that, as they said on the radio earlier, heavy rain and thunder would come in the evening. Takanori was walking, his hands in his jean's pocket, watching the shopwindows, when he stopped in his tracks. In the coffee shop on the other side of the street, Amano-sensei was reading a book, a mug in his right hand.

It only took takanori a few seconds to decide what he was going to do- or not do.

Then he was crossing the street and entering the coffee-shop. 

_Okay, Taka, now you have two options. Either he looks at you and calls you, and you take responsabilities of what's coming next, or he doesn't see -or ignore- you, and you'll have to forget everything about this stupid crush. Let fate decide_.

The shop wasn't empty but not too crowded either. He add to cross the room to order some coffee, and to pass by his teacher's table to do so. He walked calmly towards the cashier, all the while repeating in his head, like a mantra, begging 

_ notice me, please notice me, please, please, please notice me... _

his heart hammering madly in his chest. The oblivious young man still immersed in his book, and all that Takanori could do was admire the soft curve of his jaw, the way he lightly brushed his fingers against the warm mug while he was reading. _Notice me..._ How could someone look so stunning doing something as trivial as reading? He reached the cashier before being remarked, and it seemed that his stomach was sinking as he asked the waitress a capuccino with extra cream to take away. He took his paper cup in his hand, and slowly walked towards the door

_ please, please, notice me... Please... _

but it seemed that fate had already made its decision, and despite the slow steps he was taking, and the imploring prayer that kept playing in circle in his head 

_ please notice me... For god's sake... _

Takanori was now standing in front of the shop's door, and he let a disappointed sigh when he took the handle, until- 

"Hey! Takanori?"

This all happened like in a dream. Takanori turned back at the sound of his name, and he was met by the warmest smile and the fondest gaze. He made sure to look surprise.

"Amano-sensei?"

"What a good surprise! Do you have a few minutes? I could use a bit of conversation with a brilliant mind right now. My roommate is working on week-ends and I don't know anybody around. Do you want to drink something?"

Takanori smiled and showed his capuccino. 

"Actually, I have the whole afternoon too. I have to shop groceries, but it's not like it's an emergency or something."

His teacher gestured him to sit down, and Takanori obliged, his heart hammering madly in his chest.

"Thank you, Amano-sensei."

"Oh, please, we're not in school! I feel like an old man when you call me like that. You can call me Tora."

Tora. That was the name he'd written on the paper in the book. It was weird, but Taka liked it. It sounded wild and powerful, but also reminded him of a big plushie with a soft fur. It suited the guy, somehow.

"So, Takanori, what does a smart young man like you do on week-ends? Going to the movies, attending lives? Or having fun with friends? Like... What's his name? Ah, yes, Yuu..."

Takanori was secretly delighted. Tora didn't remember Yuu's name, but he'd never hesitate before calling for him.

They began to talk, Tora asking a lot of questions, and Takanori answering all of them, without hiding the things he used to not mention to anyone but Yuu and Yutaka. His life, his mother's death, the way he was handling all the chores at home, what he wanted to study...The afternoon went by so quickly, Tora ordering more hot drinks for them both, and things to eat, too, and they kept on exchanging, about their lives, about the world, about art, about pretty much anything. No awkward silence, just the two of them bonding over some capuccinos and apple pie, and Tora laughing delightfully at each one of Takanori's sarcastic jokes. 

When Taka finally realized how late it was, he panicked a bit.

"Oh, damn, what the hell? Sorry, Tora, I have to go. I was supposed to shop groceries for the week to come and I don't know if I'll even be able to come back home before my father. He's gonna be mad."

Tora raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I'm sorry. Listen, I have my car parked nearby. Maybe I could take you to the conbini and bring you back home, so that your father won't be mad, what you say?"

Takanori frowned.

"Oh, that won't be necessary, thank you for offering, though-"

"Don't be ridiculous, let's go!"

And before Takanori could say no, they already were running in the alleys of the conbini, their baskets full of groceries, laughing like kids. Soon Tora was stopping his car in front of Taka's home, half an hour before his father would arrive.

"Thank you so much, Tora-san. It was the funniest shopping I've ever done! And the quickest too! The man at the cashier was so offended to see us run around the store..." 

"Yeah, that was fun! Oh, here..." Tora was reaching for something in the glove compartment, catching a pen and a piece of paper. "It's my number. You can call me anytime if you need it. Don't hesitate, okay?"

Takanori nodded, his heart hammering anew (was he sick maybe?), and he left the car, with his groceries and the little note held tight in his hand. He turned back just one time to wave at the car, and got a bright smile in return.

Later that evening, after much hesitations about what he should do or not, he sent a message to his teacher, receiving an answer almost immediately. He couldn't help but smile and read the message several times.

Unknown number: My father didn't notice anything. I was on time for cooking diner and everything. Thank you again, it had been a long time since I hadn't had such a fun saturday!

Tora: You're welcome! I had a great time with you too! Try to have some rest, okay? See you on monday!

The following week was a busy one, as it was set for being the first tests of the year, to check whose students had troubles with which subjects. Taka and Yuu had luckily no particular difficulties in any of their classes, but they still had to attend each one of these tests anyway. In the art class this monday afternoon, Takanori was trying his best to keep his calm while waiting for their teacher to arrive, his legs jumping nervously under the table he shared with Yuu. Of course, he'd told his best friend about the encounter he'd had with Tora, and if Yuu had teased him kindly, he had also been a bit concerned about it. 

"You know, Taka, I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to see him outside our classes. I mean, I can see how big of a cruch you developped for him in such a short span of time, I wouldn't want you to have problems. I don't know what would worry me more, between you having your heart broken or actually begin a relationship with one of our teachers. That's bad news in either case."

Takanori had blushed and chuckled, a bit embarrassed, but had brushed it off with a dismissing move of his hand.

"Oh, don't worry, Yuu. It was a coincidence if we crossed paths there. I don't believe there will be any chances we spend more time together. And honestly, if I can't deny I have this stupid crush, how on earth could Tora want to ever be in a relationship with one of his underage students, less more me? I bet he would rather date a girl his age, not a ugly shorty like me."

When the teacher finally came in his room, excusing himself for being late because he had some topic to talk about with Nakamura-sensei, Takanori could only internally melt at how handsome and soft Tora looked, with his sheepish smile and warm eyes. 

He began to explain them all what he was expecting them to work on for the week and the tests, and Takanori was a bit disappointed then, because he'd waited some signs of recognition from him, but had received none. He knew he was being childish, of course Tora wouldn't just walk in the classroom asking about Takanori's sunday and talking to him as if they were friends, but still... He began to work on his sketch, only answering to Yuu's low small talk with distracted "hmmms", immersing himself in the strokes of his pen instead of sulking, and didn't notice the presence beside him until he heard a low chuckle.

"How comes that I barely finished to explain what I want and you're already half done with the draft of you project, Takanori ? Damn, you're so quick, and it already looks so good, too!"

Takanori's heart stopped, and he blushed at the praised, not knowing how to react at his teacher's proximity.

"Err, thank you, Amano-sensei. I... Don't know exactly how I envision the second step of this work, though. I think I will have to think about it more thoroughly..." He scratched the back of his neck, and avoided the young man's fond gaze, not wanting to blush any deeper.

"I trust you for coming up with brilliant ideas, believe me. But if you need to talk about it, you know where to find me, right?" And he winked a bit shyly, his hand lingering on Taka's desk where it pointed and tapped next to Taka's phone. 

"Yes, Sensei. Thank you!" And Takanori was beaming, returning to his sketch with a jumping heart and trying to keep the flush of his cheeks at a reasonable level.

"Good. Ah, Yuu, let me see... Hey, that's such a good idea! Great! I can't wait to see this finished! I'm so honoured to have all of you as my students, I couldn't expect for more talented pupils, honestly! Keep on the good work!" And Tora was moving on, leaving their shared table, but not without another mischievous wink Takanori's way. 

The boy didn't know if he would survive his art class anymore, if his heart kept on having to deal with so much emotions. Luckily, Tora wasn't their main teacher, and he wouldn't have to talk to him that much outside his art room.

But as to make him wrong, Tora was always on Takanori's way whenever he wandered the school hallways. And each time the teacher took the chance to talk to him, about anything that crossed his mind, be it the weather, the last book he read, Takanori's last sketch, and Takanori was always left thirsting for more interactions with the older boy. And for the first time ever, his wish were granted, sometimes several times a day. Yuu could only stare at his friend's ecstatic grin, whenever he'd came back after having talk to their teacher, with a growing sense of discomfort. It was a bit like watching a car thrown at full speed, knowing that somehow it could only end badly crashed against a wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, looking forward reading your thoughts ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Here we go for a new chapter. I thought this part, Hurricane, would take 4 chapters at most but I think it will be more around 6 chapters, err, sorry :/Guess I got too much carried away in this side story than I probably should have, but I kinda really liked writing Taka and Tora together. OOps. I will maybe post them earlier than I planned, too, since I'm officialy on holidays for three weeks from now on, so yeah. And since I've had someone commenting really kindly on both of BDC and Sailing Ships, I will also update Sailing Ships a bit later on the week-end! It really motivated me to know that peaople were waiting for updates :)  
>  Enjoy!

Tora entered the apartment he shared with his best friend, shouting happily as he walked by the door. "I'm home!" 

"Hey, welcome back!" Saga was shouting back from the little kitchen, seemingly busy cooking something, if Tora's nostrils weren't playing him tricks. The young teacher took off his shoes and walked to the kitchen's doorframe, where he spotted his friend besides the oven, stirring things in a span. The boy was wearing an apron, and he turned back to him, smiling broadly.

"Smells really good, damn! What are you cooking?"

"Surprise, just go shower, Sensei, so that we can have a nice diner and maybe watch a movie?"

"Okay, mom, I'll be right back!" He ignored his friend's middle finger proudly standing in front of him and went straight to the shower.

Half an hour later, they were both sat at their little kitchen's table, Saga happily handing him his plate with a huge mountain of spaghettis drawning in Bolognese sauce. 

"Waow, thanks, Saga! You didn't have to cook, you know? Are we celebrating something?"

Saga shook his head, serving his friend a glass of wine.

"Hu-hu. Just wanted to make something special to change from our instant noodles diet. And as we can't see each other on week-ends, I thought it would be good to enjoy the little time we have together whenever we can have some."

Saga was studying psychology at University, and he was also working at a conbini nearby on week-ends shifts in order to pay the bills. Which didn't let him much time to spend with Tora. 

They were childhood friends, and the only thing that had separated them was that Tora, as he was in high school, was such a brilliant and precocious student that he could skip two scolar years and graduated earlier than Saga. As Nakamura-sensei was his teacher in high school, he asked if Tora was interested after only two years in a school art to become his "padawan" and therefore his successor when he would be retiring. Tora was talented, yes, but he also was in deer need of money, and he was tired of struggling with two part time jobs and his classes in his art school. The offer of Nakamura-sensei was paired with an offer form his school, he would be allowed to keep on studying by correspondence, and wouldn't have to give up on his studies. He didn't take long to accept the offer and came back to the school he'd attended before as a student as a new teacher.

"So, how are your classes going, Sensei?" Saga asked playfully with a raise of his eyebrows, after a gulp of his wine.

And Tora began to tell him about his classes, how he'd made his students chose between paint, charcoal, clay for the first subject he'd given them, and that the only one who'd chosen charcoal, that Tora himself was so fond of, was Takanori. He also mentionned all the researches he'd wanted them to do and had asked them to make a presentation about, and Takanori's was the most brilliant. As for the annual project that Tora wanted to make, Takanori had also had so many great ideas to make it even better, and Tora couldn't really wait to see how this will turn and he was really excited about it, even more so now that Takanori had promised to bring him an artbook that would probably inspire them and-

"Is that so." Saga's voice had dropped from the cheerful tone it had had some minutes earlier to a cold and expressionless sound. His lips were pinched in a thin line as he put his glass back on the table, untouched. 

Tora nodded slowly, not sure of the reason of his friend's sudden swing of mood. 

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, not at all. But tell me, last time I asked you about your day, you also talked a lot about that student of yours. You did mentioned that he was a rather ugly guy, right?"

Tora frowned. Why would he say something like this?

"Err... No, I didn't say anything about him being ugly. Actually he's quite cute and-"

Saga made a face. Tora snapped. 

"What?!"

Saga sighed.

"Tora... I... Each time you open your mouth, that's always to say something about that... Takanori. If I didn't knew better... I'd say you have a crush on that boy?"

"I have a ... What? Oh, please, Saga, you have to be kidding me!" Tora let out a hoarse chuckle. "It's a joke, right?" And as Saga kept on staring at him blankly, his nerves began to show. "Takanori is smart and funny, and I like top spend time with him, okay? We share many interests, and always have things to talk about. That isn't something I'm used to, and you know it. I'm not a people person like you, it's not easy for me to socialize. Actually, Takanori is the only person I am comfortable with in this school, if you except Nakamura-sensei."

"And that's exactly why I'm concerned, Tora. He's a kid. You'll get into trouble."

"Damn, Saga! Do you ever listen to yourself? Getting friendly with someone doesn't necessary mean ulterior motives. If for you enjoying someone's company and spending time with them often ends up in bed, it's not the case for everyone, you know?" Tora's exasperated answer made the two of them glare at each other, before Saga got up from his seat, an angry frown on his face and hurt clearly showing in his eyes.

"Well, I guess now I know what you really think about me. Anything else you'd like to add about me being a whore, Tora?"

"No, no, wait! Listen! I'm sorry... I... That wasn't what I meant, at all. I don't think anything like this, and you know it, Saga. It's just that... It's always so easy for you-"

"Yeah, whatever, I got it. Forget this. Do what you want. Excuse me for worrying." 

And Saga caught his almost untouched plate, leaving a frozen Tora at the table, while he threw away his meal in the thrashcan and put his plate in the sink, and hurried to his bedroom to hide his crestfallen face before Tora could even see the tears about to fall. 

Tora stayed petrified on his seat. 

What the hell did just happened? 

He was so happy a few minutes earlier, and their evening looked quite perfect, and now... He took his face in his hands tiredly. He didn't remember the last time Saga and him had had a fight. 

He got up from the table, cleaned up the table and the dishes, and put all that was left from Saga's spaghettis in plastic boxes in the fridge. How the hell was he going to fix this?

He went to Saga's door and knocked. 

The only answer he got was an angry "Leave me the fuck alone".

Resigned and sad, he decided to grant Saga's wish for now, and to find a way to apologize properly later. 

He came back to his room and let himself fall on his bed, his mood as gloomy as it could be. He decided to check his phone out of boredom, and his mood improved a good amount when he saw the message waiting for him.

Takanori: Hey Tora! I checked the website you recommended me this afternoon, and it's really great! Thank you for your advices, as always they're more than welcome. I will probably try the techniques explained in the second part of the site. Have a good night, see you tomorrow? 

The young man felt his smile grow wide while reading the message, and as he was replying to it, he briefly thought about Saga's words. 

_ " I'd say that... You have a crush on that kid." _

"Bullshit."

Tora: You're welcome! Even talented artists need a little boost sometimes! I'm glad I could help. Which technique exactly are you talking about? Did you began to sketch already? Can I see?"

The texts went on and on, Tora's smile lingering on his lips as he was reading Takanori's answers, laughing softly under his breath.

Saturdays were now all the same. Takanori hurried to do all the chores at home, with loud music blasting through his speakers, dancing all along while he swept the floor, cleaned the window, prepared the diner for his father, put the laundry to dry, his heart light and his mood bright. And after a small lunch (the butterfly in his belly flying so wild he had no appetite) he was heading to the little café where they first met. They would spend the afternoon there, eating pastries and drinking coffee or chocolate, and just enjoying their time together. Then Tora would take Taka to the conbini before taking him home. 

He still had 15 minutes before going to the café, and he decided to give himself a last check out before. Taka frowned in the mirror. He wanted to look good, he wanted Tora to find him cute, but he also wanted to look more mature, a bit older, because damn, he was done looking like a baby with his chubby cheeks and wise hairstyle. He couldn't really innovate with his clothes, because he hadn't much of them beside his school uniform, and it would be very embarrassing anyway if he appeared to be overdressed. Anyway, he changed his plain baby blue tee-shirt for a white one, that he paired with a red flannel shirt, and with his pair of solid blue jeans it looked nice enough, with a cool rock n'roll vibe. He was about to go when he spotted his father hair gel. The man used it to tame the tuft of hair at the back of his head that never wanted to stay in place. Takanori tried to style his own hair with messy spikes, and when he felt satisfied he finally headed to the café. 

He was a bit nervous, because actually he rather liked he he looked, but he hoped Tora would, too.

He had no reason to worry, though, because as soon as he stepped into the shop, Tora's smile and his reaction were more than enough to reassure him.

"Hey! Woa, Taka, you look good! What have you done to your hair? That's cool!"

Taka blushed, obviously, and shrugged.

"I was bored with having always the saime hairdo since I'm born, basically, so I decided to try something new. I'd better take everything off before my father come home, though, or he'll probably bite my head off if he sees me like this!" 

Tora laughed.

"Well, I'll be bringing you five minutes earlier so that you will keep your head on your shoulders, right? But I wanted to do do something else than just sit here the whole afternoon. What would you say about coming to mine and I'll show you some things I painted? We could take things to eat from here, and maybe, I don't know, listen to music or play video games?" 

Takanori's heart wasn't strong enough to handle this. 

"Going to your place? Are you sure? I mean, Iwouldn't want to impose or anything, and-"

"Of course I'm sure! Why the hell would I offer if I didn't want you to come? Come on!"

Ten minutes later they left the café with a paper bag full of pies (apple, cherry and chocolate) and two big capuccinos with whipped cream, and they were soon in Tora's appartment. He made Takanori visit the place, with a little flustered shrug. 

"A tiny kitchen, a not so big living room, two small bedrooms... That's not much, but that's all we're able to afford for now. So we're quite happy with it. Ah, and we also have a private access to a small part of the roof, I go there to play guitar and we also eat there when the weather's fine, I'll show you later!"

Takanori was looking around him a bit shyly. 

"I can't wait to live alone, to be honest. So it looks a bit like paradise to me, you know? And I really like how you decorated it, it's cool and cozy!" 

Tora laughed.

"Oh, for the decoration part, all credits go to my friend Saga. He has good taste, for sure. If I lived alone, I can assure you there would probably be nothing else than a bed, my computer and a microwave oven. Oh, and a fridge. Fridge is important!"

They settled on the couch, Tora going to the kitchen to bring a plate for the pastries. They talked for some time, never finding themselves with nothing they wouldn't want to talk about. Then they began to talk about art, about their favorite medium, about how expensive some supplies were, and Taka confessed that he'd always wished to use oil paint, but how it had always been too expensive for his wallet. 

Tora smiled brightly at that. 

"Well, I guess it's your lucky day! I have a friend who work at a big art supplies shop, and he gave me a whole box of oil paint he received from one of his suppliers. I've never tried it neither, I wasn't very inspired. But now that you mention it, we could maybe make a challenge? Like, we could choose a theme and work together on our own canvas. That'd be great, right? It' so rare that i can have someone to share this with!"

Takanori was amused by Tora's excitement, but he was also a bit flustered, though.

"Oh, yes, that'd be great, but Tora-sensei, I don't want to use your things, and I don't think I will be able to do anything correct with something I haven't learnt to work with. I wouldn't want to waste-"

"Nonsense! I'm gonna find everything we need." He checked his watch. "See, it's barely three, we still have a t least 3 hours before us, it's gonna be cool!"

Next thing Taka knew, they were installed in the living room on a tarp Tora kept for working there. He had put some music in the background, not loud enough to bother the neighborhood, but loud enough for them to be immersed in it. They were  side by side, their canvas leaning on the wall, and they began painting after going for a simple landscape theme. They kept on talking and laughing, giving some advices or asking for them, and they didn't realize time was passing by. Sometimes, Takanori leaned a bit against his teacher's side to admire his painting, and sometimes,Tora was guiding the younger's hand to help him soften a curve, just like he was now, his finger gently wrapped around Takanori's, warm and comforting. 

"Here, see? You need to learn to do smoother moves... Just like brushing the canvas..."

And that's when they noticed, at the same time, how close their faces were. Tora could feel Takanori's breath on his neck, and it made him shiver. He was still holding his hand, and didn't really want to let go. If the youngest had shown any sign of embarrasment, Tora would have probably backed off , but Takanori's eyes were fixed on his, and he looked so soft and pretty, Tora couldn't think about anything else. Before he could get a hold on himself though, the sound of someone clearing their throat behind them made them both jump out of their skin, as they were quick to come back to their respective spots with a proper distance between them.

"Saga? Oh my god, I-" Tora stuttered, his face beet-red, words refusing to go out of his mouth as he desperatly tried to look innocent and failed miserably. He gulped, and tried to act as if he just didn't get caught staring in Takanori's soul, as if he hadn't just been ready to kiss his student. _Damn, what's wrong with me? "_ I- err... I didn't think it was that late. Takanori, please meet Saga, my best friend and room-mate." 

Saga was looking at them with a piercing stare.

"I figured, for the time, I mean." He said coldly. "Glad to meet you, Takanori. Tora is full of praises for you, it seems you're like ... His favorite and most talented student, or something like this?" 

Takanori wasn't less red than his teacher. He swallowed audibly at the intense glare he was receiving.

"Oh, nice to meet you too, Saga-san. Tora-sensei is much too nice, I'm only a student who likes art. Sorry for the intrusion, though, we somehow get lost in time with the painting, and-"

"Yeah, painting. Right. " Saga wasn't even looking at them anymore. "Maybe it's time for you to bring the kid home, don't you think Sensei? We wouldn't want some parents to complain that you kept their child too late, would we?"

Tora nodded slowly, noticing Saga's use of childish terms to refer to Takanori. His student himself had also noticed, and Tora could tell it irked him at the highest level, if he could judge by the youngest tense jaw and the bitter frown of his mouth.

He hurried to answer before Takanori could reply.

"You're right. We've got to go, we still have to stop on our way for shopping, right? Leave everything here, Taka, don't worry, I will clean up when I'm back. Let's just wash our hands before, and we're good to go."

Takanori picked up his bagpack and his flannel shirt, and waited at the door while it was Tora's turn to wash his hands. He was looking at his feet, always feeling Saga's intense stare lingering on him. The young man had opened a beer and was leaning against the wall, observing him with a light frown.

When Tora finally appeared, at Takanori's utmost relief, he didn't lose time before leading his student towards the door gently.

"See you later, Saga!"

"Goodbye, Saga-San. It was nice to meet you." Takanori bowed hurriedly. 

"Yeah, same. Goodbye, Takanori." Saga's tone was flat.

The atmosphere in the car was tense, on their way to the conbini. Tora didn't know what to say to lighten the mood, and he didn't want to think about what they'd been about to do when Saga interrupted them. 

"I hope we will find time to fnish our painting soon, Tora-sensei." Takanori's voice was not his usual enthusiastic self, and Tora hated the insecure undertone he could detect in it. 

"I hope too, Taka. It was fun, painting with you. It's usually such a lonely hobby, and finding someone to share it with was quite unexpected."

Takanori smiled weakly.

"Yes, I really enjoyed today. Thank you for inviting me."

"You're welcome, Taka." 

They were parked in front of the grocery store, and Takanori was happy he would have something to do to distract himself from tha awkwardness of their conversation. Luckily, he hadn't much to buy, and not long after he was standing at his doorstep, Tora having followed him there to help him with his groceries bag.

"So... See you on monday, yeah?" Tora was standing there, his eyes avoiding to look straight at Takanori. 

"Yeah, of course. Thank you again, Tora."

"No problem! Have a nice evening!"

Takanori stood for a moment, looking at Tora's car leaving with a sinking heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I already said, feedback is the best motivation ever to have updates faster, hehe! Don't be shy, I don't bite!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm so sorry for the lack of updates...
> 
> Life's been busy and I really apologize for this. To make it up to you a little, well, you'll have next update on saturday, and i hope to be able to post on a more regular schedule from now on.
> 
> Thank you so much for still following this story, and prepare for some angst because...Yeah...
> 
> Did I say that I really love these two boys together?

When Tora stepped inside his appartment, he was caught off guard by Saga still standing in the hallway at the exact same place he'd been when he and Taka left earlier. The young man's look was cold..

"Don't even try to bullshit me with whatever excuses you think you could come up with, Tora. I've seen the way you both look at each other. You're going to stop this now, before it leads you to a disaster so big you'll never recover from it. Do you understand?"

Tora was speechless. Saga head never talked to him like this. 

"I think you misunderstood, Saga, we just were-"

"Oh, then I'm glad. Very glad. That I misunderstood, I mean. That probably means that it won't be difficult for you to stop whatever contact you can have with this child from now on if I misunderstood the lovesick glances you threw at each other. It means that the strict policy of not seeing him outside classrooms, no endless messages, no rendez-vous will be easier to follow if I actually misunderstood. That's good news, indeed."

He took the last gulp from his beer with a face.

"We won't talk about this again, then. Now, let's have diner." And he headed towards the kitchenette, opening the fridge to check what was in it, trying to get back to casual conversation.

"Well, we don't have much of a choice, really, and we'll probably have to stick to our usual instant ramen. But I have some chicken breasts, here, or some pork slices to cut to add to the broth, what do you think?"

When he realized he'd had no reaction from his friend, though, he turned back.

Tora was still standing in the hallway, frozen on his spot. He was pale, and looked like he was about to throw up. 

"Tora?"

The young man's adam apple bobbed up twice. 

"I... I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up Saga. You were right. I probably have a crush on this kid. That's so fucking wrong. But I just... I just don't want to stop seeing him. First he won't understand, and then... I don't want to! But I know I have to! Ah, what's wrong with me?"

Seeing his friend's obvious distress pulled up at Saga's heartstrings. He'd known from the start that Tora had a thing for his student, but it looked much more serious than he'd originally guessed. 

He took two steps to stand in front of his best friend, and put his hands on his shoulders. 

"Hey. I can tell that he's important, to you. You've never acted like this about someone" (and aknowledging that was very painfull, right, even if Tora would never know) "and I know you care about him. A lot. But for his well-being, if not for yours, you have to put an end to this, whatever it is. You're risking too much, it's dangerous for both of you. It cannot work, dude, you're a teacher and he's your student. Think about the hell it could unleash if only people came to learn about something like this. The scandal. You understand, right?"

Tora nodded, as pale as ever.

"You're not alone, Tora. I'm here with you, right? We're going to set this right, and everything will be okay. In a few days you won't think about him that way anymore, and he'll be back to hang out with teens his age, like he should." Then, on a whim -and absolutely not taking advantage of the situation, not at all- he caught his still frozen friend in a tight hug. Tora hugged him back, and Saga hated himself for liking it.

"You and me against the world, right, like always?" he whispered in the crook of Tora's neck, and the tall boy chuckled weakly.

"Yeah."

Saturday, 11pm.

Takanori: thank you again for having me today. I learnt a lot and I really liked to try the oil paint. I will save money to buy some :) Hope it didn't took you too much time to clean after us, sorry I couldn't help. Have a good night.

Sunday, 9am.

Takanori: Hey! Have a good day today, sensei ;) Anything planned?

Sunday, 3pm.

Takanori: I just finished to read the book you lent me about the Renaissance artists. It was great, thanks!

Sunday, 10pm.

Takanori: Tora? Is there something wrong?

Takanori: Ah, I'm worrying, but maybe you just have problems with your phone or something?

Takanori: See you tomorrow?

Takanori texted him several time in the week-end, and Tora didn't reply. It tore his heart appart to think about how the young boy will perceive the lack of answers, but he had no choice. If he wanted to stop whatever was going on, he had to stick on the plan, ignore Takanori to forget everything about him.

On Monday, he did his best to avoid looking at the young boy, spending much time with the others students, and for the first hour he saw that Takanori was waiting for him to do as always, coming to his desk to praise him for his work which was always so amazing.The young boy looked confused, probably because of the non-answered texts, and he was probably waiting for an explaination of the sudden cold treatment. But Tora couldn't do that, and he couldn't help but feel his heart breaking at the sight of Takanori's crestfallen face when he came to realize that no, Tora wouldn't come to talk to him and that things weren't the same anymore. 

Usually, Tora would walk from desk to desk to see how his students were doing with their projects, giving advices and sharing tips with them, but he knew that he always managed to spend more time next to Takanori's desk, as he really enjoyed to interact with him more than with the others. But today, the young teacher had chosen to settle next the girls area. He had few students in his class, and somehow the few girls who had been chosen to have him as a teacher had settled together, and if someone could judge by the non-stop giggling there, the girls were delighted that Tora had decided to stay by their side. 

Well, Tora was indeed attractive, and not only to Takanori's eyes. 

It usually irked Takanori at the highest point that this peculiar goup was always trying to gain Tora's attention when they were on class, always calling him to show their progression, with their ever so annoying high pitched voices and fake shy demeanour. 

And today, well, today was the worse Takanori had ever had to endure. 

The girls were overly excited, and the leader of their group, a bleached blonde girl named Sandra, had decided to put on a show, throwing flirtatious words and bold looks at their hot sensei, things that said sensei barely noticed since he was himself trying to focus on anything that wasn't Takanori. He answered absent-mindedly the questions Sandra and her friends were asking eagerly ( "how did he chose to teach art?" "Which artists inspired him," " What were his other favorite subjects when he was in high school?) only to tell them to refocus on their work when the questions lost their educative interest to turn somewhat personal ("How old are you?" "What qualities would make you choose to date a girl?"). The girls turned back to their projects, disappointed, and Sandra's forced pout made Takanori want to strangle her here and there. Sandra came from a rich family of the district, and she was used to get what she wanted, so it was currently an offense for her to not be able to have all the attention of the handsome and cool art-teacher. 

As Tora was throwing a glance Takanori's way, he could see hurt and rejection downing on him, and it made him feel like shit. Takanori resumed his work, triying his best to hide his hurt behind a curtain of messy spiky hair, and guilt engulfed Tora slowly. 

Yet, he kept on sticking to Saga's plans. 

Never living his small office or his classroom except for going to the bathroom, and it went rather well, if you excepted the time where he actually had to make class to Taka's group. 

Each time Takanori entered with a hopefull face, and each time his hopes were crushed mercilessly by Tora's utterly professional behaviour, talking to him only when he couldn't avoid it. It killed the young teacher to see how much this seemed to affect Takanori. He'd stolen some glimpses of him in the hallway, attending his other classes, and nobody could miss how hollow and miserable the boy looked. Yuu was glued to him, a concern frown on his face, obviously trying to cheer him up but failing. 

But each plan has its defaults, and somehow it came as Tora was in the men bathroom, washing his hands after he'd done his business there. He was obviously thinking about Takanori and didn't notice someone beginning to wash his hands next to him, until the boy began to talk.

"Sensei..."

Tora jumped a bit.

"Oh, Yuu." 

The boy was meticulously aplying soap all over his hands, biting his lower lip with a frown.

"I don't know how to say it, but... Sensei... Takanori feels bad. Like, really bad. I wondered if maybe you could.... Explain him... Why you're being so distant... Or something? " Yuu was purposelly avoiding to look at him, and Tora felt his cheeks burn. Of course Yuu would know about his and Takanori's "friendship".

"I don't know what you're talking about, Yuu. I'm not being more distant with Takanori than I am with my other students. I'm just... A teacher, remember?" And he tried to smile at that, but Yuu could tell the smile was as fake as the excuse Tora had just given him, and it didn't even reach his eyes. 

Truth to be told, Tora looked just as miserable as Takanori, right now. 

"Ah, yeah, okay." The boy paused. "But still, Sensei. He doesn't understand, and he's hurt." And with that, he left. 

Letting Tora drown in guilt and shame.

Takanori had lost appetite and sleep.

It was the worst week he'd had since his mother's death, and it lead him to fight with his father even more than usual, as his nerves were all over the place and the feeling of unfairness was tearing him appart. 

Of course he knew Tora's silence was about what had happened (or almost happened, technically), but he'd first thought that they would probably ignore it and keep on seeing each other without mentionning it, or that maybe Tora would want to talk about it or something, but never in his worst nightmares he would have thought that Tora would just choose to ignore and reject him like he did. 

It hurt like hell. To not see him, to not be able to talk to him or communicate with him in any way, and to know that it was all Tora's choice.

Of course he'd dreamt that Tora would return his feelings, but that was just dreams, he'd learnt since long that he couldn't live in dreams and that he had to be realistic. He didn't even know if Tora was gay, and even if he was, why would he be interested in him while he could have someone his age to fool around with?

Takanori had been content with the friendship Tora was offering to him, and he would never have initiated something that could lead Tora to never want to talk to him again.

Except...

Except that he didn't initiated anything, really. Neither did Tora. Their... moment... had happened spontaneously, without any of them being aware of what was going on. 

And Takanori wasn't stupid. He'd first thought that if Saga hadn't showed up, they would probably have let themselves carried away, and this kiss would have happened. 

Takanori hated Saga. Couldn't the man got hit by a car on his way home? 

He knew it was wrong, to hope that it had happened. Really, he knew. And he knew there would likely be no more kisses after that, just awkwardness and probably the fact that Tora would never want to be alone with him anymore. 

But he'd have given a kidney to know how it felt like, to be kissed by Tora. And anyway, he'd already lost him, and without having received any fairytale kiss, just doing nothing. 

That wasn't fair.

And this lead him to think that maybe Tora hadn't want to kiss him, that he'd just been surprised, and that he probably hated Takanori's guts now, because he wasn't gay and he didn't want to be anywhere near him because he'd understood what Takanori was. A filthy faggot, to use his own father's words when he was talking about people he saw on television that didn't match his expectations of what a man was supposed to act or to look like. Each time he would say these words with such a disgusted frown, making Takanori feel sickeningly ashamed and tortured.

It was Saturday night again, and his father was downstairs watching television, as always. They'd had one of their too many fights tonight, ending quite badly. Taka had been locked in his bedroom after, and he'd tried to focus on his homeworks for a while, but he couldn't for the life of him think about anything else than his teacher (he was already trying so hard to not think about all the hateful things his father had yelled while they were fighting, it was difficult for him to also forget Tora.). 

Takanori had gone shopping groceries at the beginning of the afternoon, at the time when he usually found Tora at their little café. He'd stopped on his tracks once he'd been in front of the café, and had looked at the window. Maybe he would be there waiting for him. Maybe he'd smile at him and would come to greet him, maybe he would explain... 

No one was there, at their usual spot near the window. 

Takanori angrily shoved his hands in his pockets, grumbling under his breath as tears were stinging his eyes and his bottom lip was trembling. 

"I'm so fucking stupid."

He failed to see Tora, parked in his car at the other end of the street, gathering whatever determination he still had to not step out of the car to comfort him. 

"Fuck it." Ruki closed his laptop, took the hoodie that had been forgotten on his bed, and two books in his backpack, before he let himself slide over the gutter and began to run as soon as his feet hit the pavement.

He ran until he reached Tora's building. He was out of breath, and his side was painful, since it was not that close to where he lived in the first place, but he didn't take the time to question his choice to come even once. But now that he stood there, just having to cross the street and enter the damn door, he began to second guess what he was doing here . What was he going to tell Tora? What if the young teacher didn't want to see him at all? How could he expect him to want to talk to him now, when all he'd done all week was ignoring him? Takanori let himself fall gracelessly on the stairs of the little shop he was standing before, taking his face in his hands. 

Tora didn't know what to do with himself anymore. He'd spent the whole week trying his best to fulfill Saga's expectations. He'd done everything his friend had advised him to do, but neither his friend's praises for doing good (which he doubted, since doing good meant hurting Takanori more) nor the reassurance of Saga that he was going to feel better as soon as Takanori would be out of his thoughts (was it going to be soon or would he have to suffer one more week or worse?) helped him to get over all the guilt, shame and heartbreak he suffered from.

At the beginning of the afternoon, he'd lost his mind and took his car to head for the café, just to see. Maybe, if Takanori didn't show up, maybe Tora would feel less terrible, maybe it would mean that Takanori had understood and accepted the situation, maybe that meant that he didn't care that much anymore. And even if it still hurt like a bitch to think that Takanori didn't care anymore, everything was better than thinking that he was still in pain because of Tora.

But Takanori had showed up. And seeing him so defeated and lost had made Tora's heart break all over again. He'd come home with tears in his eyes, despair and loneliness the only thing he could feel.

It wasn't just a crush. It couldn't be. 

It had to be more, because if it was just a crush it wouldn't hurt that bad. Tora wanted nothing more than just hold Takanori in his arms and erase the pain he was the cause of. Tora was aching to not be able to talk to Takanori, he just wanted to be with him so badly. 

The young teacher was going insane. 

He'd tried to play video-games, to no avail since he couldn't focus. 

He tried to watch a movie but stopped before the end as he couldn't remember what the exact plot was and why these guys were running after this poor dude with guns. 

He'd begun a new painting, and thought it was the answer to his inner turmoil as it went smoothly for a few hours, until his stomach grumbled so much he had to eat something to calm his hunger. He went for a few leftover slices of pizzas Saga ordered last night to celebrate Tora's success of being wise and mature (rather, in Tora's opinion, of being an ass and a coward). Then all interest in painting had disappeared, and Tora's gloomy mood was back full force. 

Disheartened, he went to the window of his small living room, chewing his pizza with no enthusiasm, and that worsened his mood even more. He'd always thought that pizzas were the universal solution to any problems, but it seemed like he was wrong. Honestly, if even pizzas couldn't-

What the hell?

On the sidewalk across the street, was a boy sitting on the stairs of the little fruits and vegetables shop where Saga liked to buy their groceries. And despite the darkness, Tora's heart began to hammer in his chest, because this silhouette, he would have recognized it anywhere. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments are food for the soul, hehe! I can't wait reading you too...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! I promised a new chapter for the week-end and I'm laaaaaaate but here it is!   
> I enjoyed to write this special pairing a little bit too much. I love them. They're pure and sweet and did I say that I love them? Well, it seems that we still have two more chapters left for this story...  
> Someone asked for a little bit of fluff?

It was weird, you know, because just like everything that had happened to them until now, from their unexpected collision in the school hallway, to them meeting at the coffee shop and developping a friendship that wasn't solely that, it seemed that the universe, in all its madness and greatness, was doing its best to just push them towards each other. You can call it fate, destiny, coincidence or maybe even misfortune, but at some point, you had to believe that something was meant to be... And just like that, as Tora was staring with his jaw agape and wide eyes at the boy across the street, said boy chose the same moment to lift his eyes from the ground were they'd been blankly looking at for the last fifteen minutes, and their eyes met. Tora could see the teen's eyes widening, and the panic settle on his face. The boy stood up suddenly, shove his hands deep in his pockets, and began to walk hurriedly towards the corner of the street.

Tora didn't wait to storm outside his appartment and litteraly let himself run down the stairs, before he began to jog in the street to catch back with his student. When he reached the building where Takanori had turned, he spotted the boy only a few meters away.

"Taka!" 

The boy stopped, his shoulder dropped and his head fell. He knew he'd been caught the moment he'd seen his teacher by the window, but he hadn't think that he would follow him. He didn't turn back, though, nor did he say a word.

"Taka... What are you doing here?" Tora was doing his best to keep his voice soft and calm, whereas his mind was freaking out, screaming at him that he shouldn't have followed his student, that he should have let him go. 

Takanori's shoulders hunched even more.

"...Err... I just wanted to see you. I had these books of yours, and..." 

The young teacher was torn. What was he supposed to do now? He slowly shook his head, trying to clear his mind and to find the appropriate things to say.

"But...? How did you come? It's awfully late, won't you get in trouble with your dad or something?"

Takanori shrugged, still not showing any interest in turning back to speak to Tora face to face.

"I just ran."

The implication of Takanori's words made Tora blink in shock.

"You.. Ran? You mean you came all the way here on your own, alone in the streets? At this time of the night? "

Takanori shrugged weakly but didn't answer.

"Oh my god. But Taka, it's not a safe area, you could have been attacked or something!" Tora was freaking out. What if something bad had happened to Takanori? He was young, and he was small, and also pretty, he would have been the perfect target if he'd crossed path with the wrong people. The young teacher was almost physically sick to just think about it. 

Takanori slowly turned back, lowering his gaze, deciding to spill everything before Tora would let him alone in the streets. And Tora's breath was cut short as what he saw froze him on his spot and his hand was coming to stifle a pained curse.

" I wanted to say I'm sorry. I-"

"Holy shit Takanori!"

Takanori's nose was swollen and a naughty purple shade. It had been bleeding as well as his left eyebrow, and his bottom lip was split, letting blood dry there too. A dark bruise could also be seen on the side of his left cheek. Tora' heart dropped in his stomach.

"Oh my god! What happened? You've been attacked!" He took two long strides that brought him right in front of the young boy, a worried frown plastered on his face.

Takanori pursed his lip and shrugged again, avoiding his stare.

"Kind of. Not a big deal, though."

"Kind of what? And what are you saying? Oh my god I have to take you to the hospital!"

This time, Takanori locked eyes with his teacher. His look was so, so sad.

"I haven't been attacked, Tora. My father got mad at me because I've had a rough week and haven't been able to put a facade, so he's been nagging at me and making things worse just how only he knows to, and what should happen happened, he riled me up, I answered him the wrong way a time too much and he just beat me to teach me manners. Not a big deal." He repeated.

It took a few seconds for Tora to process what Takanori just said. Anger began to boil into his veins, and he let his arms fall along his body, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth.

"Your father did this too you?"

Takanori nodded, avoiding his eyes.

"Is it something he does regularly?"

Takanori nodded again.

"Yeah. But usually he's more cautious about not leaving marks. I guess I really pissed him off today." The sad smile Takanori wore was painful to watch.

Tora exhaled noisily, closing his eyes.

"Taka. We're going to the police, and you're going to tell them about this. He has no right to beat you. Fuck, I want so much to punch this bastard rigth now."

Takanori instantly went into panicked mode. He gripped at Tora's worn out shirt.

"No, no, we can't do that! They'll take me away from him, but I have no other family, so I'll probably be sent to a foster or something, and I'll probably have to change school and to not see Yuu and Yutaka ever again! Please, no!" He paused, eyes pleading."I have nobody else. It's not that bad, I can endure. I swear."

Tora's anger was melting at the sight of the young boy. His heart was pounding furiously in his chest at the thought of everything Takanori had to deal with for a boy his age. He understood where the boy's maturity came from. He understood why Takanori was trying his best at school, how he wanted to succeed to get out of where he was now. And he was so totally crushed to know that there was nothing he could do for him, whereas all he wanted to do was to protect and cherish him the way he deserved to be. He couldn't bear the fact that someone was mistreating the boy he'd probably fallen in love with. 

"Okay, I understand. I won't force you to go to the police. But we have to clean these, right? Just come with me."

Tora didn't wait for an answer, he grabbed Takanori's hand gently and pulled him towards the door. They entered the little appartment, Takanori's eyes staring at the ground while Tora was rummaging in the box where he and Saga stored their first aid kit, choosing some rubbing alcohol, cotton pads and some arnica ointment. Then he looked at Takanori, remembering that Saga was going to come home soon. They didn't need that. If they weren't in the living room when his friend would arrive, he would just assume that Tora was already sleeping in his room and would go straight to his own room.

"Come on, we're going on the roof. Saga's gonna come back and I don't want him to interrupt us. I think we also need to talk."

In other circumstances, Takanori would have loved the place on Tora's roof. It was small, just a little roof overhang from the neighboring building over the cemented top of Tora's place. Just big enough to fit a threadbare couch and a shabby coffee table. There were plaid blankets on the armrest of the couch. It was far from being the most comfy or fancy looking place Takanori had seen, yet it looked a bit like an escape place, somewhere someone would choose to retire and be safe from the outside world. This feeling the place was giving had probably a lot to do with the fairy lights hung all around the wooden beams of the framework, illuminating this special spot and making it look unreal.

Anyway, Tora had said something about needing to talk, and Takanori was quite sure that he was going to have his heart broken there, so there really was no need for him to like this place or not, he guessed.

Tora gestured for him to sit, a bit shyly. Takanori obliged, surprised by the softness of the couch.

It must have been obvious on his face, because Tora chuckled a bit. 

"Yeah, I know, it looks like it's going to turn to dust but it feels like a fluffy cloud, right?"

Takanori nodded, avoiding Tora's eyes. The young teacher chose to sit in front of Takanori, on the coffee table. Saga would probably have chided him if he was there, but he wasn't, which was for the better. Tora pourred some alcohol on a coton pad and began to dab gantly at Takanori's face where it was needed. Takanori tried to keep a stoic face, even when it stang a little. He decided to watch Tora's face instead, his focused frown as he was cleaning all of his cuts, and the worried look he had. He was beginning to know the man quite a bit now, and he could tell Tora was upset. The young boy felt so tired suddenly, and so hopeless, too. 

"I'm so sorry..." He said, avoiding Tora's surprised eyes, feeling like everything around him was falling to pieces.

Tora looked like he was about to talk, but Takanori's mouth was working on its own, letting flow all of his frustration and self-depreciation. 

"... For always being such a disapointment to everyone. My... My father hates me. It's not that I haven't tried to fullfil his expectations, but no matter how hard I try, it's never enough and I always end up feeling like a failure. I would just want him to at least like me a little bit, but it seems like I don't deserve it. And I know you kinda had expectations about me too, as your student, with all the support and encouragement words you've shown, but I know I deceived you too, and I'm sorry for that. I know that you've found out who I really am and that you've been disgusted by what you saw, and I'm sorry. From all the people I know, except from Yuu, his brother Yutaka and their mother, you were probably the one I didn't want to ever disappoint. I don't want you to hate me too, that's why I came. To say that I'm sorry. And I wanted you to know that if there's something I can do to make things better, for us to be friends again." He paused. "I promise to do everything you'd want me to do if only things can come back to what they were before. I promise to not make you feel uncomfortable. I don't know why I'm like _that..._ " his voice broke at these words, and big round tears escaped his eyes, efficiently shattering Tora's already damaged heart.

He put the coton pad down on the table, and cupped Takanori's soft cheeks in his big hands. 

"Takanori, listen to me."

Tora understood, now, what Saga was talking about. Because if someone else had been at his place, now, and with Takanori so willing to do thing to fix their friendship, that someone could have taken advantage of his youth and innocence and abuse him. It was terrible just to think about it. He sighed.

"Look. You're everything but a disappointment to me. You've never been. You did nothing wrong. I know how hard you work and how talented you are, and I admire you so much for all the efforts you're making. You don't have to do anything to make things come back to normal. They weren't normal in the first place. I decided to stop talking to you and interacting with you because... I developped feelings for you that weren't appropriate for a teacher to have about one of his students. I was just trying to put some distance between us and figure out things. I am sorry. I'm the one to blame, and you're just too sweet. There's nothing wrong or disgusting with who you are, never ever let someone make you think that."

Takanori looked at him in disbelief, tears still flowing.

"You what?"

Tora looked at him straight in the eyes. And Takanori could read the emotions there like an open book. Longing, caring, sadness. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Really?"

Tora nodded.

"So you're not mad at me?"

Tora shook his head, slowly.

"Oh my god! Tora, I... I think I have feelings for you too! I think I fell for you the day I fell in your arms and... I can't believe this."

Tora's heart was too weak, actually every single piece of him was weak to Takanori. Hearing the young boy confessing so honestly, so boldly made him feel so ashamed. How on earth had he been such a coward? They should have talked this over, he shouldn't have let Takanori down like he did.

"But... I'm your teacher, Takanori!" Tora said, his voice soft. "We can't spend time together, we can't let our feelings take over reality. It's wrong." He paused, something painful in his eyes.  "This past week has been killing me."

"I get it, I really do." The young boy was trying hard to not cry. "But it's hard, you know. To think that the thing I've been dreaming about since we met, I mean, you liking me just a little bit, is actually true, but that I have to forget it because it's forbiden. That's so not fair." Takanori tried to smile, and that came out shaky and painful. "but I'd fly to the moon and back for you. If you want I'll even ask Nakamura-sensei to change groups if you want me to."

Takanori's words touched him more than we he'd expected. His heart had been aching so much during the past days, and just to be in the young boy's presence was already bringing him some kind of relief. But hearing how much Takanori really cared for him moved him to his very core.

He was still cupping Takanori's face, his thumbs wiping the hot tears on the velvety skin. He was looking at him with an intense stare, diving in the brown orbs. And he realized one thing. He didn't want to do this, to be this, the one who would take all Takanori's dreams, hopes and feelings and throw them in the trashbin without regret. 

"I'm afraid I'm not liking you just a little bit." Takanori's eyes widen, and the little spark of something he saw in it spurred him on leaning close, brushing his lips softly on the boy's. "I feel like I'm losing my mind staying away from you."

"Please, then... Don't." Takanori breathed. 

And unlike anything Takanori had expected when he'd stepped on that roof, this place became his favorite on earth. Because that's where, under the pastel fairy lights, in the soft breeze of the almost summer night, he got his first soft, breathtaking, mind-blowing kiss. It sent them both on cloud nine, and any second thought they could have had about how wrong this should be vanished the moment their lips met.

That's when Tora understood what he really wanted to do. To heal, support and love this boy as much as he could. That was his purpose in life from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave a little comment to make my whole weak :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah sorry for the delay, I kinda promised a quick update but wasn't able to keep my promise. To make it up to you all, there will probably be a new update in the next days. Also, I promised fluff, and I hope I delivered ...

Saga found them in the early morning, both of them rolled in the plaids and asleep on the couch on the roof, Takanori safely wrapped in Tora's big arms. 

The young man had gone straight to bed when he came back home after a too long shift at work the night before, assuming as Tora had intended that his friend was already sleeping. He'd woken up early as always, and when he'd walked through his small living room, on his way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, he'd been confused to find the first-aid box forgotten on the coffee table. He'd frowned. Was Tora sick? Did he hurt himself? He decided to check on him, worrying a bit that he hadn't seen the box earlier. He came to knock at Tora's door, and when he got no answer he decided to enter. The bed was empty, as was the room. Considering that he'd seen Tora's car parked next to his last night, he knew that there was only one place he could find him..

The sound of the old creaking door woke Tora up, and he just stayed there, holding Takanori against him without saying a word as Saga's face paled when he understood what was happening there. He shook his head, gritting his teeth in anger and looking everywhere but Tora's eyes. 

Saga felt hopeless and frustrated, and he couldn't seem to find anything to say to express how insane the situation was. He sighed, defeated. 

"I should have known. You didn't listen to me. You never do." He kept his voice low, but it was shaking a bit. "You have no idea of what you're throwing yourself into. This is suicide." 

"I know you're trying to help, Saga. But I can't stay away from him. It's too hard." Tora paused, looking at Takanori's face. "I think I love him."

Saga smiled painfully. Of fucking course.

"Whatever you say. This is not going to end well, and you should know that better than anyone. Do what the fuck you want."

He turned his back to his best friend, not letting him a chance to see the tears that were pooling in his eyes, rushing in the stairs to catch his car keys before leaving the building, having no other aim but find a quiet place where he could nurse his broken heart for the next hours.

Tora took Takanori back home not too late after, the boy assuring him that his father wouldn't come to find him before noon, when the man would be hungry enough to free Takanori from his locked room so that he could cook something for him. Tora had insisted that Takanori needed to have a decent breakfast before though, because he was scared that Takanori's father would deprive him of food to punish him more, so he'd prepared waffles and they ate it after some leftovers and a bowl of miso soup. Takanori had helped him silently, his heart suddenly so alive, so happy to finally be able to be around Tora, in the same space, and knowing that the young teacher had feelings for him. That was incredible, and Takanori's smile had something magic about it as he was biting eagerly in an overly sugared waffle. This smile took Tora's breath away for a moment, their eyes meeting and staring into each others. 

Of course he'd woken Takanori up with a kiss on his forehead and a soft voice, after Saga's departure. He'd explained him what had happened, and the young boy had a bit freaked out. 

"Oh my god he hates me now!"

Tora has laughed softly at Takanori's frantic words.

"No, he doesn't. Saga is unable to hate someone. It's just... He's worried for me, you know? He thinks it's too dangerous." He paused. "And he's right."

Takanori's chest tightened. He lowered his head, preparing himself to what Tora was going to say.

"He's right."Tora repeated softly, putting a finger under Taka's chin to make him look up. "And that's why we're going to have to be really cautious. We can't let people know about us, it would be terrible. That's why I'm going to ask this, right now. Are you aware that from now on we're going to have to hide? All the time? Are you ready for this? This isn't going to be a normal relationship, one where you can hold hands in the middle of the streets, or can go to dates, or do any of the things people who're dating usually do. I don't want to drag you in a situation that's going to be hard to deal with. I want you to be okay, I want you to be happy, I don't want to be the reason why you'd be sad or uncomfortable, right? So I will ask you to think about it a little bit more, and to figure out what you want, okay? " Tora's warm eyes were pleading, and Takanori melted at the sight.

He smiled.

"I just want to be with you. As much as I can. Everything else doesn't matter to me." 

There wasn't much more to say, so Tora nodded, so helplessly in love with the boy by his side, and he leaned in to press a chaste kiss at the sugared corner of the younger's mouth.

"I want this too. We're gonna make this work."

Caution became their motto. 

They never talked again at school, outside classes, where their exchanges were strictly student-teacher centered. Tora had kept his new spot at the "girls-side" of the room, and if he regularly walked through his class to see his students' progress, he didn't linger at Takanori's side more than he did at the others', like he was doing before. Of course, the girls of the group were delighted, and Takanori couldn't help but want to strangle Sandra a little bit more with each day passing. 

She was sure that Tora's change of attitude had everything to do with the fact that he actually had a soft spot for her, and the young man often had to remind her that it wasn't appropriate for her to be so flirty with one of her teacher. She didn't care, though, and kept on believing that Tora would soon fall for her. Which both irked and amused Takanori to no end. 

When he was to cross path with Tora in the hallway, they would barely aknowledge each other, even if sometimes Tora's lips were weirdly curled upwards, and even if Takanori's eyes were suddenly more alive when it happened. 

Takanori had also promised Tora that he would do his best to not provoque his father's anger, and he did. He was particularly cautious with what triggered the man's moods, always on time precisely to prepare diner and set the table, nodding politely and blankly at everything he could say, doing his chores without complaining, in a word being the perfect puppet the man wanted him to be. But he was okay with it, since it prevented him from being grounded and beaten, and he knew how much Tora wanted him safe, so the efforts were worth it. He was working harder at school, later at nights and faster at home, to be able to spend more time outside. It was a bit like he suddenly had wings pushing him through life. Of course, he'd told his father that he was spending more time to study at the library after classes, and as his grades, that were previously already excellent, were becoming even better now, his father didn't find a thing to say against it. 

And of course, Yuu was there to back him up if needed. He'd been very supportive of Takanori when his friend had told him that Tora and him were together. Surprised and a bit worried, yes, but supportive, and that had been the best proof for Takanori that Yuu was the friend he'd always thought he was. Yuu knew how much Takanori loved the young teacher, and he also believed that Tora was a good guy, so he only wished that they could live their lovestory in peace, and was determined to help them as best as he could, even if it meant that he would see his best friend less often. 

Taka and Tora had set up a schedule to meet during the week. On monday, wednesday and friday's evenings, Takanori would say he was going to the library or to Yuu's, and Tora would wait for him, parked in a street not too far from Taka's house. He would then bring him to his appartment where they would spend the little time they had either on the roof or in Tora's room, cuddling and kissing and talking until it was time for Takanori to come home to cook diner. These moments were always a bit rushed, but they really wanted to see each other as much as they could , so they didn't have the choice. The rest of the time, they texted a lot (Takanori has never felt less lonely, though, alternating between texting Yuu and Tora all evening's long, often laughing by himself, and time was passing quickly), and they never missed a chance to tell how much they missed each other. If someone had told Takanori some months ago that he would have been involved in such a cheesy and needy relationship, he would probably have gagged in disgust. 

And yet, here he was.

Tora was everything Takanori had ever craved. Since his mother's death, he'd never been shown attention nor affection of any kind, and Tora was suddenly there to give him both, an endless amount of them. He was sweet but strong, playful but serious, enthusiastic but quiet,tender, yet passionate. He always looked at Takanori like if the young boy was the best thing to ever happen to him, always looked delightfully surprised whenever Takanori showered him with confessions or loving touches, like if he was genuinely astonished that Takanori was indeed in love with him. And it amazed Takanori to no end because really, he should be the one who couldn't believe that Tora had feelings for him. 

Takanori felt undeserving.

Having someone to love him had been something he'd been dreaming of for so long. He'd never let himself hope that it could happen so soon, though. Not that he didn't think that he'd already spent too much time with noone loving him at all, but he'd never thought that he could meet the love of his life during his college days, as he was still a young plain boy lacking talents or good looks, still so ignorant about life and everything. He'd figured that if someone were to fall in love with him someday, it would be because he'd worked hard and had become smart and cultivated, had earned enough money to buy himself nice clothes and a cool haircut that would make people forget that he wasn't pretty enough, when he would have finally lost his baby cheeks that made him look like a toddler, and maybe had grown a bit taller too, because nobody liked midgets. 

And to suddenly have Tora, liking inconditionally each and every side of his personality, it made Takanori a bit dizzy and startruck. Not only was Tora incredibly good looking (hell, that was quite an understatement because Takanori couldn't take his eyes off of him most of the time) and hot (no, you wouldn't want to know the details of most of Takanori's dreams these days, because it was not really all audiences rated), he was also a talented artist and musician, and he was so smart and kind... Sometimes Takanori thought that he'd had an accident and fell into a coma and all that was happening to him was just a beautiful dream of his incouscious self.

Tora, on the other hand, had never looked for love. He'd never been on the receiving end of affection, and had grown used to it. His parents weren't even affectionated to each other, they both were very invested in their jobs where they had responsibilities (Tora's father was an important businessman, always out of town and running after time, whereas his mother was owning a jewelry she inherited from her own parents, working hard there bossing around her employees.) They'd had a kid because that's what was expected from them, but they'd never taken any interest in raising him (they paid people whose job it was) or simply get to know him. They weren't bad people per se, they just didn't care much, and Tora had grown surrounded by qualified nannies and housekeepers, and as he's never been used to displays of afection, he made do with what he had, choosing to not expect much from people. 

He met Saga in kindergarten, the little boy weirdly began to follow him everywhere and to share things with him, his snacks, his toys, his books, everything he could he shared. Saga didn't appreciate much other kids, noisy, bratty, annoying, bullying, too lively for his liking, and he'd been immediately drawn to Tora, quiet, shy, lonely, a bit mysterious. Tora had been rather overwhelmed by the little boy's sympathy towards him, and he hadn't quite known how to act accordingly, not being used to have someone care for him at all. He first told Saga to stop giving him things like this since he didn't know what he could give him in exchange, but when Saga answered that he didn't want something back, that he only wanted to be his friend, Tora got confused. Why would someone want to be his friend? And was friendship something worth it, anyway? But Saga looked at him with so much hope in his eyes, and Tora, if he wasn't that much interested in other kids, wasn't mean in any way, and he didn't want to disappoint Saga. He only shrugged and thought that whatever whim the little boy was having would soon pass and he would be left alone as usual, so he let him do what he pleased. In the end, Saga kept on following Tora and sharing things with him, and Tora got used to it, and their friendship got stronger with the years. Tora then thought this was all he needed in the world, Saga's friendship. He never really tried to meet new people, only doing so through Saga's new aquaintances, and it was enough for him since he'd never grown to be a social person. He kinda liked to talk with people, mostly about arts and video games, but firmly believed that he expressed himself way better through his paintings or music. 

That is, until he met Takanori, and the young boy just made his world upside down, making him suddenly yearn for skin contact, for touches and kisses, for long talks about meaning of life and feelings, about plans for the future. Suddenly he wanted to protect and to take care of someone, and his heart, that's been only used to beat for physical purpose, began to beat for someone.

When Tora had figured out his gender preferences earlier in his teenage years, it had been quite difficult to handle for him, because he hadn't known what to do with this information. And after some time, he'd decided to tell Saga, who'd been rather relieved since he himself had came to terms with the fact that he was attracted to both girls and boys. But unlike Saga, who was trying his best to find love in the arms of countless people, Tora had decided that it wasn't worth it, and that he would search for physical contact only if needed, because feelings were too much of a burden and a big loss of time as he was concerned. 

It was unsettling for him, to say the least, to suddenly feel so much for someone, to be so helplessly in love with Takanori, at the point that the idea of not seeing him for a few hours, (or worse, for more than a single day!) was rendering him so restless and depressed it was borderline worrysome. Tora 's heart was now overflowing with love and he couldn't repress any of it. 

The moment they were both dying for was actually saturdays. Takanory worked twice as hard at home on tuesdays and thursday, to be ahead of his chores schedule, so that he had his saturday cleared. As his father was working the whole day long, he would jump out of bed as soon as the man would have started his car and left their garage, to take a quick shower and get ready. Tora would soon come to take him in a street nearby (they changed streets each week, just in case), and then they would have breakfast somewhere (they also changed places where they eat each week, never too cautious). And from then on, they would decide what they wanted to do. Paint together, go to the movies or have a walk in a park on another district... But what they preferred was usually stay at Tora's and enjoy their time together. 

It was easier knowing that Saga was also working all day long. Things hadn't really been the same between Tora and him since he'd learnt that Tora was in love with his student, but Tora was trying his best to fix things between them. He missed his best friend a lot, and believed that with time, Saga would get used to the situation and would learn to like Takanori too. 

Saga just couldn't. He couldn't stand to be near them. To witness their loving stares, their hands that kept on touching each other, Tora's hand at the small of Takanori's back when they were sitting on the sofa, Takanori's stroking softly Tora's when he thought nobody could see, the smiles they threw at each other, the way they finished each other's sentences and laughed just after, it all made Saga sick. So he was avoiding as much as he could to be there when he knew Takanori would be around. And it made him sicker then, to know that they were home alone, and to imagine what they could be doing.

Actually, Tora and Takanori had been quick to figure out that they couldn't keep their hands off of each other when they were together.

Takanori had never thought that it could feel so good to be held and cuddled, to be pampered and kissed, and he felt so safe in Tora's big arms it was crazy. He loved Tora's lips and couldn't get enough of them, and the way they lingered in his neck, softly brushing against his skin, or when Tora was nibbling at the sensitive spot above his collarbone, wanting to mark him but knowing he couldn't, was driving him insane.

The young teacher thought he was going to lose his mind each time he was finally allowed to wrap Takanori in his arms. The way his small body fitted so well in his embrace was a thing he would never get tired of. He wished secretly (and would never say it to Takanori because he knew the youngest had still hopes of growing a bit taller) that Takanori would stay like this, small and thin, for the rest of their life, the perfect size for him to protect and cherish. 

Takanori was addicted to Tora's scent, and a few days after they'd confessed he had complained that he couldn't sleep at night, because he missed the young man too much. He'd pouted so cutely, saying that he would probably sleep better if he could imagine that he was in Tora's arms, the young teacher's heart had melted, and he'd given him one of his favorite hoodie, sprayed with his favorite cologne, so that it would almost feel like he was hugging Takanori to sleep.

They were tender and cheesy most of the time, disgustingly in love and hopelessly crazy about each other, their hearts and souls warm and satisfied. But they also were teenagers, and their bodies were craving physical contact each day more, as their feelings kept on growing stronger.

At the beginning of their relationship, their encounters were filled with tender touches and kisses, they were keeping things under control and were getting used to be with each other in a boyfriend kind of way. It was new for both of them, and they were very careful to do things right. But at some point their hands became bolder, their touches more insistant, their bodies more reactive and their skins more sensible. And it became a more frequent occurence that they were both left breathless and flushed after kisses that went from slow to deep and passionate, when their lips not only stayed on lips but wandered lower, their hands exploring more. Tora never let anything go too far though, no matter how much his body screamed for it, craved for more. He was older, and he had to kept things in check, he had to be responsible for the two of them. 

But sometimes things just get out of control. 

That friday evening, Takanori had taken the excuse of working with Yuu and told his father that he would study on the evening at the Shiroyama's under the pretense of having an essay to write together. Takanori was sure the man would check as soon as he would step back in the house, so he'd got ready and asked Yuu to stay with him after school at the library during the week so that their essay will be ready for the moment his father would ask to see it. He had a five pages of draft with both his writing and Yuu's on it, he would only have to write it out again, and that was good because it shouldn't look too perfect, or his father would have doubts. 

So here they were now, on their way home after having spent their early evening at Tora's, where they'd ate delicious ramen the young man ordered in the little restaurant down his street, and then they'd been watching a movie and cuddling on the couch. Tora had wanted to bring Takanori home not too late, in order to stop on their way to stargazing. He'd parked the car on the hilltop that overlooked Takanori's district, and he'd switched the engine and the headlights, and they'd looked at the sky for quite some time, their hands entwined, Takanori's head on Tora's shoulder, the radio playing some soft tune faintly in the background. Tora was showing him stars and namming them, Sirius, Antares, Betelgeuse, so many of them... Takanori sighed contentedly, and it made Tora smile. He leaned to plant a gentle kiss at the corner of his boyfriend's mouth, and he laughed softly when Taka chased after him with a whine and grabing hands.

Takanori was just too cute. He gave in, and their lips met again. 

They kissed slow, and Takanori began to nibble Tora's bottom lip teasingly, the older feeling a too familiar heat overwhelming him. Takanori smelled amazing, tasted amazing, and damn, these moans escaping his mouth sounded amazing too. He didn't really register the exact moment when the boy straddled his tighs to end on his lap, but now that they were here, Tora didn't want it to stop. Takanori hands were gripping the hair at the back of his neck almost painfully, and he was gasping, letting open-mouthed kisses on his jaw and neck, and beginning to grind against him, following a rythm only he could hear. Tora's eyes rolled at the back of his head at the delicious friction, unable to think about anything else than how breathtaking this was and how amazingly good Takanori felt against him. At some point they totally lost all notion of reality, and the heat was smothering, their bodies were on overdrive, too sensible, feeling too much, the mix of the raw pleasure and almost pain from all the friction, eager for release and high on feelings. 

When suddenly Takanori's mouvements became a bit more jerky, his body beginning to shudder, he caught Tora's lips in a soaring kiss, and then whispered in his boyfriend's ears feverish words.

"Tora, ohmygodbaby, ...Tora, I can't... Oh please... "

And then he buried his nose in the crook of Tora's neck, shaking violently as he was reaching his climax, shivering from head to toe as his hips were still moving on their own, mewling a half sob, half pleasured moan. And that was all it took for Tora to fall above the edge too, his arms coming to hold onto Takanori as if to keep himself grounded, to no avail.

Breathless, boneless, their legs like jelly and their minds full of coton candy, they took their time to come back to reality. Tora kissed Takanori's sweaty temple.

"Oh my god, Taka... I love you. You okay?"

Takanori finally leaned back to press his lips against the young man's, chuckling softly.

"Okay is a bit light of a word. I love you too." He smiled.

Tora didn't know what to say. He was feeling incredibly good, but at the same time he was feeling a bit guilty to have let himself be carried away. He wasn't quite sure about the things that he could allow them to do, since he was technically older than Takanori, and he didn't want to jump the gun and rush things. Things were already complicated for him since he was Takanori's teacher, and he honestly didn't know anymore where to put boundaries or not. He forced a smile and cupped gently Takanori's cheek.

"I should bring you home, baby. We don't want your father to be mad, right?"

Takanori frowned a bit at that, but not for long since Tora was already kissing him softly. He hummed in the kiss, and sat himself back on his seat, putting his seatbelt with a little disgusted nose scrunch when his wet boxers came in contact with his skin.

"And to think that I have to talk to my father like that before going to shower, ewww!" 

Tora laughed a bit, and started the engine. 

As expected, his father had wanted to see his homeworks, and Takanori had shown him. The man had inspected his essay with a stern frown, and then he'd dismissed him for the night, telling him to not forget his chores for the next morning. Takanori had nodded and hurried to the bathroom, where he'd taken a long warm shower after having thrown his clothes in the washing machine. He'd daydreammed a bit there, under the stream of hot water. He'd recalled what happened in the car, and also Tora's light discomfort when he'd left him in the closest street. He looked a bit ashamed, and Takanori knew exactly why. He was aware that Tora was doing his best to protect him, and therefore sometimes treated him like if their age difference was much more important than it really was. It upsetted him to no end, but he knew that it was just another aspect of Tora's caring personality, so he couldn't really be mad at him for it.

When he let himself fall on his bed, in his pajamas and Tora's hoodie, he took his phone to call his boyfriend. Tora answered right away.

"Hey, Sensei! I wanted to check on you." 

Tora laughed softly.

"Shouldn't it be my role to check on you, babe?"

Takanori smiled. 

"If you say so... Listen... Don't mess your pretty head with what happened tonight. We did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong. It was amazing, and I love you."

It took some seconds to Tora to answer.

" I wasn't worrying... Or just a little bit." He paused. "It's just... I don't want you to do things you aren't ready for. I'm only worried about this."

Takanori chuckled fondly. Of course Tora was worried, he was always worried about him.

"You do realize that I'm human, right? And that I'm not five years old? That's quite normal that we end up doing things like these at some point. It's not like I haven't dreamt about doing this before, and it's nothing more that what I'm usually doing alone thinking about you."

Tora choked on his spit, a low groan escaping his mouth at his boyfriend's words, the images popping in his head a bit too suggestive to keep his cool.

"Damn, Taka, you have no shame!"

Takanori was laughing good heartedly.

"What should I be ashamed of? Being an healthy teenager? Having a hot boyfriend? Having normal urges? Tora, baby, please, I don't want you to think about what happened tonight with shame or guilt, okay? We already have to hide and keep our relationship a secret, we should enjoy everything we do together without second thoughts."

There was a bit of silence.

"Yeah. Okay. You're right. As always."

"Good boy."

"Hey! You're the boy! And I'm-"

"My man. You're my man, and I love you."

Takanori was good with words. He always knew how to render Tora speechless and to make him melt. 

"I love you too, Taka. So much. Good night, baby."

"D'night. Oh... And I saw much more stars than those that were in the sky tonight, you know?"

"Smooth. So, maybe... Maybe we can see many more..."

"Can't wait. Go to sleep now. See you tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love love love to read your thoughts :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a new chapter! This one is one of my fave, hope you'll like it guys. Enjoy the fluff while you can, because next update will probably broke your heart, it broke mine already.

Weeks became months, season changed, and soon they were in summer break.

Takanori's father had insisted that he had to find a job, and Takanori did find one, at a small conbini nearby. His father hadn't been pleased with the fact that it was only a part-time one, but hadn't fought against his son's decision once he'd explained him that he wanted to also focus on his homework and to study more, knowing that all his father wanted was for him to work hard and to graduate early. If the young boy was to deserve a scolarship, the man would probably be able to get rid of him earlier, and maybe not have to pay for his tuition. And Takanori knew how much his father wanted him gone, and how much he loved money, too.

Takanori worked in the mornings, filling shelves with bags of chips and canned meat, helping customers to choose their vegetables, and sometimes Yuu and Yutaka came to visit and kept him company when the shop was empty. He worked with a light heart and was smiling all along these tiring ships, because the afternoons to come were just too good to be true. He spent all of them with Tora, hidden in the young man's appartment, and sometimes Yuu was invited too. They would play video games, or Yuu would bring his guitar and he would play along with Tora, while Takanori would listen to them blissfully. Most of the time they would settle on the roof, with iced tea and chips Takanori would bring from the conbini, and life was good. Actually, these days were the happiest they ever had. They were floating in their own little bubble of happiness, and the fact that they had to keep on hiding from the outside world wasn't even a problem.

Yeah, life was good.

Tora was also glad because Saga had begun to be less wary of Takanori, and he'd tried to spend a bit of time with them, sharing diner with them a few times, and Tora couldn't be more grateful. He missed his best friend a lot, and really wanted Saga and Takanori to get along. During these diners, though, Takanori had noticed the glances Saga was throwing Tora's way whenever the young teacher wasn't looking, and the young boy believed he'd understood somehow why Saga didn't like him much. The guy wasn't exactly subtle, and you got to be as oblivious as Tora to not guess what Saga's attitude was all about. Anyway, and despite the freaking out crisis he'd had when he'd figured it out, he decided that it was probably best for them all if he kept what he'd discovered to himself. First, because if Saga had never dared to confess, it wasn't his place to tell Tora.That would be troublesome and he didn't want to ruin their friendship, he knew how much Tora cared about his friend. And then, because he firmly believed , after having thought about it thoroughly, that if things hadn't happened when they were just the two of them living together, nothing would probably happen now that Tora was dating Takanori. Tora wasn't the cheating type, Takanori trusted him with his life, and nothing could make him think that Tora could have romantic feelings for his best friend.

So yeah, life was good.

Just like this afternoon.

Saga wouldn't come back before late in the evening as he had a meeting with some friends after his classes, and Takanori's father would be working overtime because he was late for some report, so he wouldn't be back home before ten. Yuu had declined their invitation, opting on spending time with Yutaka instead. His young brother was feeling a bit lonely as they'd chosen to not tell him about Taka and Tora's relationship. It broke Taka's heart because he really liked the youngest like a brother, but Yutaka was still young and he wasn't sure it would be easy for him to understand the situation. Plus, they'd talked about it with Tora, and they'd came to the conclusion that the less people would be to know about them, the less they would have to worry about it.

Which left the two of them alone, with a whole afternoon to share. They couldn't have asked for more.

They were in Tora's room, listening to music and cuddling on his bed. Time wasn't a thing they were aware of anymore. It was always the case when they were together alone, basking in their feelings, and losing themselves in their touches, their kisses, in their gazes.

The sun was shining bright by the opened window, and the two boys were relishing in each other's presence. Taka caught Tora's mouth with his own, before nibbling playfully at his bottom lip. The young man chuckled and let his boyfriend claim his lips. He couldn't remember if anything had ever felt that good, and honestly he didn't want to remember because what they had here? It was heaven, pure bliss, and nothing else mattered. 

Their kiss grew deeper, and as Tora abandonned Takonori's mouth to began to devour his neck, to gently bite him just behind his ear, the temperature of the room became hotter, and Takanori took off his shirt in a swift movement, making Tora stop in his ministrations. The hazelnut eyes narrowed and seemed to darken, as the young man watched his half naked young boyfriend. 

Blushing, Takanori didn't let him time to recover, as he leaned in to kiss him once again, and Tora distractedly noticed how big his own hands looked on the youngest's torso. His skin was so soft, and his breathing fast, and the low moan of approval he was making... Damn... Tora was slowly losing his mind, savouring these lips... 

Taka's hands were under his shirt now, and he was tempted to take it off, too, but he didn't know if that was a good idea, really, because he shouldn't let himself been carried away too much, but- oh my god- Takanori was stroking his chest and his hands were now sliding lower, teasing the skin of his belly, almost tickling, and- 

Tora sat down abruptly when he felt his boyfriend's hands trying to unbuckle his belt.

"Taka! Don't!"

The young boy stopped in his tracks, a look of total confusion on his flushed face.

"But... Why?"

Tora got up, and with a frustrated sigh, he passed his hands in his dischevelled hair, trying his best to have his cool back.

"Because... That's not right. We shouldn't."

"Why shouldn't we Tora? I mean... You look like you want to. Or... Maybe not? Am I not attracting enough? I'm not pretty enough?" Takanori seemed lost, and so... so... so _young_.

"You're as pretty as one could be, Taka, but no. We're not doing this. End of the discussion." He sighed and forced a smile. "Do you maybe want to go to have a drink somewhere?" Yes, that was a good idea, to leave the room and get themselves in a crowded place, where they wouldn't be tempted... 

As if Taka was just going to buy this, though. 

"End of the discussion? Have a drink somewhere? Do you hear what you're saying? Tora, we're talking about us, right now, like us, as in _boyfriends_. What's wrong with you?"

Obviously he wasn't, hu.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Taka, but we can't do this. You're too... Young. I'm not going to do... _this_ , with someone your age. Obviously I want to, but no. We'll wait for you to be older, to be ready."

"Are you fucking kidding me? We'll wait? You'll wait for me to be older? What does that mean, older? Like, _legal_ older? You're trying to make me believe that you'll be waiting like three fucking years? Do you think I'm that stupid, Tora? Nobody waits that long for someone. You'll be fed up with waiting for long before those three years."

"Maybe you're right, but I'm willing to try. I won't drag you in something you will regret for your whole life. You're too young, and it's too important, and serious, to take it like it wasn't."

Takanori got enraged at that point.

"Too young my ass! Did someone care that I was too fucking young when my mother fucking died on me and I was left alone with my father? Did someone care that I was too fucking young when my father decided to make me his fucking personnal slave? Nobody fucking cared! And now, now that I really want something, something that I believe is the best for me, something that I have thought about many times, and that I am willing to try, now I'm fucking too young and can't have it! I'm old enough to be lonely, to be left alone, old enough to do all the chores in my fucking home, old enough to suffer the loss of the only being who cared for me and loved me on this planet, but I can't have this? "

He got up of the bed too, grabbing his shirt and putting it on again, hurriedly, never ceasing to yell at Tora who looked at him, petrified.

"I want this, and it's not like I haven't thought this through, you know? I want this, even if I'm scarred to death at the mere idea of doing it. I want this, because I love you so fucking much it hurts, because I want you to be my first one, because I fucking love you, Tora. But you know why? I'm too fucking young and have to let people decide for me what I'm old enough to do or not! That's so fucking screwed up! That's so fucking... Unfair!"

And he couldn't keep on yelling anymore, not with the breaking of his voice, not when he was shaking that much. Not with the tears, and this stupid lump in his throat, and he could now only whisper in a weak voice, his arms going limp against his sides, defeated.

"Why can't I have somebody to love me too? Why am I not allowed this?"

His words seemed to awake Tora out of his stuppor. His heart was aching at the sight of his boyfriend, so vulnerable and broken, trying to keep himself together and failing miserably, his bottom lip trembling.

"Taka... Baby..." He approached slowly, as if to not scare him away, as if he was afraid that Takanori could just fly away by the opened window. He caught him in his arms delicatelly." Of course you're allowed to have someone who loves you. And I'm lucky, you know, because it's me. I love you, Takanori, I do. So much. Much more than you can imagine. That's why I care about you, that's why I don't want to hurt you or to make you do things too early. I often forget that you're so young, because you're so mature, so smart, and that's a part of why I fell in love with you. But I don't want to be the kind of bastard who only thinks about his selfish want and abuse the boy I love. I only want the best for you, please believe me..."

Takanori had his head buried in his tee-shirt, and when he lift up his gaze to meet Tora's concerned one, tears were pooling in his eyes once again.

"But you're the best for me, Tora. You're my one and only, and I just know it has to be you. I want you, Tora, so much. You said you love me, right?"

Tora nodded.

"Then show me. Show me just how much you love me. Please." 

Takanori took off his shirt again, slowly. These words, the pleading eyes and the half naked boy behind him made all that was left of Tora's good resolutions instantly melt. He caught his boyfriend in his arms and lifted him off the floor. Takanori's legs circled his waist, and their lips met again, this time more hungry, more fervent. And Tora pushed up any guilty feelings he could have at the back of his mind. He didn't want to disappoint the boy he loved, make him feel like Tora didn't love him or want him enough. He wanted to make him feel good, to make him feel loved. He wanted to give him the whole world and maybe it was a way to do so. He gently laid Takanori on the bed, and as the radio was still playing, he threw his tee-shirt carelessly on the floor before he joined him on the bed, stroking his wet cheeks with his thumbs, looking at him adoringly. 

"Okay... Okay, babe. We're gonna take this slow, and you can stop whenever you feel like it, right?"

Takanori just smiled, and it was the most celestial thing Tora has ever witnessed, and he understood, at that special moment, that there was nothing wrong in what they were about to do. Because he felt so much love for him, and he could see his feelings so perfectly mirrored in Takanori's eyes, there was no way something so beautiful and pure could ever be wrong. 

After a lot of touching, stroking, teasing, kissing and tasting, a lot of comforting words and caring reassurance, and even more confessions, Tora made Takanori his. And when the younger cried, because he did, it had very little to do with pain, and much more with the overwhelming love he felt for the man holding him. 

They stayed sprawled on the bed long after they'd both reached their climax. The sun was slowly fading away, and the air in the room was cooling a bit. They just couldn't seem to be able to stop kissing lazily, and saying how much they loved each other, and the little cloud they were on was far too high. 

"How many people did you make love with?"

Tora raised a brow at his boyfriend's question, and smiled sheepishly.

"You're my first."

Takanori huffed and slapped his arm.

"Hey, don't lie. I know I wasn't your first. How many?"

"Hu... I had sex with a girl when I was 15. For science purpose, kinda. I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't gay. Obviously it was a disaster. I was even gayer than I first thought. Then it took me some time to accept it, and I tried it with a guy at a party. We were both drunk, but it wasn't that bad. We never saw each other again. And some time after, on my last year of high school, I had a crush on a friend, we dated for some time and slept together. Twice." He locked eyes with Takanori. "But I wasn't lying. I slept with them, yes, but I didn't made love to any of them. You're my first."

Takanori's eyes widened at the revelation. He whispered, his voice full of awe.

"What have you done to me? I love you so much I don't think my heart will be strong enough to endure it." He kissed Tora, slowly and dreamily. "If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I will never regret this."

And he never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please cry with me at how precious they are! Let me know what you think <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, guys, that's a wrap. This was supposed to be just a short prequel to Boys Don't Cry, a fic that I'm actually writing. If you liked this story, maybe give BDC a try ? ;)  
> First, I wanted to say that I'm not a lawyer of some sorts so things are as they needed to be for the sake of the story, right? Then, please don't hate me for this, life's hard sometimes for young lovers. I feel so sorry for them.   
> Grab some tissues maybe?

Takanori was happy.

He had to hurry to finish the chores he had been assigned to for the week at school, because Tora was waiting for him in the car. He'd told his father that he was going to Yuu's place to learn a bit and then play video games, and that Mrs Shiroyama had invited him for dinner, so he would come back home late. Surprisingly so, his father hadn't objected. That meant he was about to spend the whole evening with his boyfriend. Taka knew he was currently smiling to himself, and probably looked like an idiot but he didn't care. Soon he would be wrapped in Tora's strong arms and that's all that mattered. If possible, he felt even more head over heels now than never before.

Tora had surprised him the previous saturday. He'd picked up Takanori early in the afternoon, as usual, but instead of driving straight to his appartment, he'd left town, with a little smirk and sparkles in his eyes, as his boyfriend had no answer to his questions about where the hell he was taking them, "please Tora, tell me, I swear to god if you don't we won't do anything sexually related for the next month." Tora hadn't pipped a word, only smiling mischieviously and not taking Takanori's threat seriously (obviously). After a long hour that took them outside the city and in a little suburban town on the seaside, Tora finally parked his car and came to open his boyfriend's door, playing the perfect gentleman and making Takanori's fake sulking disappear immediately. He took the hand his teacher was handing him with a roll of his eyes, and he wasn't properly standing beside the car that Tora was already folding his arms around him, with an apologetic smile. 

"Hope you're not too mad, I wanted it to stay a surprise. We're here for the last autumn matsuri, I wanted us to do something special as a couple. Unfortunately we won't be able to watch the fireworks because I still have to take you home not too late, but we can still eat some good food and enjoy it for the whole day, right?"

Takanori had smiled then, hearing Tora talking about them "as a couple". He was always so gentle, and so attentionate. Honestly, Takanori didn't know how a perfect boyfriend was supposed to act, but he was quite sure that if there was a book about it, Tora had probably read it and taken to heart to fulfill all the conditions required.

"I'm still a bit mad, though." He said with a pout.

"Oh. Why's that? I mean, we can still come back to mine if you prefer-"

"Nah. Idiot. I'm very happy with being here with you, but I really would have liked to see you in a Yutaka and everything. I'm sure you'd totally rock the look.That would have been hot."

Tora had laughed then, a beautiful, good hearted sound, and a delighted grin on his face. 

"I promise next time I'll come fully prepared and clothed accordingly. But you'll have to match my outfit, okay?"

"You have my word! Next time!"

And, blissfully ignoring that none of them would never be able to keep their promise, they'd enjoy their day at the fullest, eating as many delicious street food they could and wandering the streets hand in hand, only stopping from time to time to steal a kiss. For the first time since they got together, they didn't bother to hide since they were far from home. The air was smelling like coton candy and curry, the autumn sun was shining nicely above their head, and their hearts were beating in synch with happiness.

It had all felt like a dream.  


He was finishing to empty the thrashcan, while Sandra was wiping the blackboard. He hadn't understood why, but the girl had switched turns with Yotsuha, the girl Takanori was supposed to clean with for the week. He'd been a bit upset because he actually quite liked Yotsuha, who was nice and easy to chat with while doing their chores, as opposed to Sandra who always found a way to annoy him with her non-stop bitchy attitude.

When the director's assistant appeared in the classroom's doorframe, the girl looked at him with a smirk he didn't know what to think of. The assistant looked a bit disgruntled, and avoided Takanori's look when she told him that he was expected at the director's office. She also told him that it couldn't wait, and that he had to come immediately.

Takanory frowned. What was this about? He was confused and a bit annoyed, because hell, Tora was still waiting, and he didn't want him to worry. Sandra told him that she would finish to clean alone, still keeping that irritating mocking grin, and Taka nodded, not bothering to thank her, just taking the time to send his boyfriend a short message.

Taka: Gonna be a bit late, don't worry. Can't wait to see you <3

The assistant walked him to the director's office door, and as she wasn't acting really weird already, (usually she was a chatterbox and had always been very cheerful and friendly towards Takanori, and today she was silent as a tomb and very awkward), she squeezed his shoulder and offered him a sad smile before turning on her heels and going back to her desk.

Takanori didn't have the time to think about her strange behaviour, though. Tora was waiting for him, and he didn't want to lose a single minute that he could spend with him. He knocked at the door, still wondering about the reason why he was here in the first place, and very distractedly entered the room when a voice inside told him to.

Then he stopped breathing.

It took some minutes for him to proceed what he was seeing there.

Behind the colossal desk, where some papers were scattered, the director was standing, his arms crossed on his chest, a stern and angry expression on his face. The man looked pissed off beyond belief, and Taka suddenly came to hope that he had nothing to do with the man's wrath.

At the right of the desk, sitting very straight on a chair, his father was looking at him coldly, and Takanori got struck by all the hate he could read in his stare. What the fuck? Why was he here? During all the years he'd been studying here, his father had never made the effort to come, even for the unescapable meetings between parents and teachers. These things -as all things related to Takanori- just didn't interested him.

Then Takanori's look slipped to the left of the desk, where two people sat. Nakamura-sensei, looking at his hands in what seemed to be utter embarrassment, and Tora. His boyfriend was pale as a dead man, and for the first time since they met, Tora didn't smile at him when he entered the room. 

His distraught face, his lost gaze just pierced Takanori's heart and suddenly he was 11 again, when his mother had announced him that he would have to be brave, because she would soon not be there anymore to love him. That she was dying, and that he was going -to be forever alone- to stay with his father, who would – ignore and despise him- take care of him. Because that's what it was all about, all over again, right? 

Takanori's heart sunk in his stomach, and he knew why they were all here. Kinda. And he didn't want to see his world crumbling, he couldn't let it happen, not again, please, no.

In a desperate attempt to save what could still be saved, Takanori walked into the room with all the confidence he could muster, and turned his eyes from his boyfriend's tortured face, not even aknowledging his presence, to the director's glare.

"You asked after me, Sir?"

"I did. And now you probably have an idea why, haven't you?"

Takanori decided to ignore the underlying sarcasm.

"No offense, but actually, I don't, Sir. I'm sorry if I did or said something wrong, and I hope you know that I never meant no disrespect of any sort-"

"You little shit! Stop trying to play innocent there! We all know what you did!" His father's voice was full of hatred.

Takanori flinched at the violent reply, and he tried to swallow the bile that was beginning to pool in his back throat.

"Excuse me, Father, but I have no idea of what you're accusing me of." 

He was standing very straight too, his arms behind his back, looking at the man who'd never meant anything to him. They both exchanged a staring contest, and suddenly the man got up from his chair, the action making Takanori take one step back as he feared some sort of attack, and then he grabbed the scatered documents that were on the desk, and before anyone could react, he threw them in a fit of rage right in Takanori's face.

"No idea, hu? Filthy faggot! I can't believe you could do this to me!"

And Takanori looked at all the papers all around him in a daze, picking them one by one, and recognizing what they really were. 

Pictures. 

All of them were pictures. 

Of him and Tora, a few days before, when they'd been to the matsuri. 

They were holding hands on that one, or just walking side by side on this one. 

On another one they were kissing, his own eyes were closed while Tora was looking at him with such a loving look Taka's heart grew bigger between his ribs. Everything was blurry now, and happening in a slow-motion-like distorted reality.

_ The week before. _

_ Tora's class with Takanori's group was over, and the young teacher was tidying a bit his desk, sorting papers and humming absent mindedly, thinking about Takanori and the surprise he wanted to do to him. He was smiling to himself, and didn't notice someone approaching until the person was standing right before him. _

_ It was Sandra, a honey dripping smile on her lips, battling her eyelashes in a poor excuse of shyness. The first buttons of her blouse were undone, and that was totally not allowed by the school's internal rules, Tora was sure of that. _

_ "Oh. Sandra. May I help you?" _

_ His tone was cold, as always when he had to talk to her. He'd had to lecture her so many times about her flirty ways towards him, and she still acted like she didn't understand. And he was totally aware that she was the type of girl that could bring him trouble if he wasn't cautious enough.  _

_ "Yes, Sensei. My father is worried because he thinks that I'm not good enough at arts. He says it's important for me, to become an accomplished business woman when he'll retire, that I can express my creativity and sensibility artistically. He'd really want me to have some private lessons, and would be ready to pay good money for it. That's why I'm here actually. I thought that maybe you'd be willing to help me to improve, and-" _

_ Tora winced at the learnt-by-heart discourse Sandra had just recited, and didn't wait for her to finish. _

_ "I'm sorry, Sandra. I'm not doing private lessons. There are plenty of private teachers in the area, you know? And I'll be happy to recommend some of them to your father if he wants. " _

_ Sandra pouted cutely, giving Tora the best puppy look she could. The teacher felt nauseous all of a sudden. _

_ "But I don't want anybody else, Amano Sensei. I just want you."  _

_ Tora gulped, swallowing back the snarky reply he wanted to make.  _

_ "And, you know, as we would be together, you could teach me anything, I'm a good learner. And I think we also could get to know each other." She'd got closer while she was talking, and she'd caught the tie of a petrified Tora, beginning to play mindlessly with it as she wasn't unashamedly and outrageously making the more sexual innuendos to her teacher. _

_ Tora snapped, snatching back his tie from the girl's hands dryly. _

_ "Enough. You should be ashamed, Sandra, really. I'm your teacher, and I've been quite patient with your attitude and the way you're trying to flirt with me despite the several admonitions I gave you. I can't tolerate such an inappropriate behaviour in my class."  _

_ Sandra was frozen on her spot, looking at him with a frown. _

_ "From now on" he resumed, "From now on, I don't want you anymore in my group. I will have a talk with Nakamura Sensei about you and you will have lessons with him, but I will inform him of your behaviour, and if it's not enough we'll have to refer to the director. From now on we won't have to talk to each other again. Am I being clear?" _

_ The girl had gritted her teeth, hissing under her breath. Sandra was a very pretty girl, but humiliation didn't suit her well. _

_ "Very clear. You'll regret this, sensei." _

_ "I very highly doubt it. Now, good bye, Sandra." _

_ The girl had left school burning with anger. Her mood hadn't improved for the rest of the week, that she'd spent avenging herself on poor innocent students, spitting insults and barking snarky remarks at anyone and everybody.  _

_ She hadn't really felt better, and even less so when her mother had told her that they would have to attend some stupid matsuri in a little town nearby because her father had been invited by an important client of his, who was the major of said town, and asked that he would come with his family. As always, her mother and she would have to play the perfect trophy wife and daughter, and as always she hated it. She'd prepared herself with anger still eating her insides, trying to ease her mind figuring out how she could make this stupid teacher pay for rejecting her. He would learn that you didn't mess with her without consequences. _

_ When she'd came back from there late at night, her heart was lighter and she had stored in her phones some pretty good pictures, that she planned to share generously.  _

_ Fate was so funny, sometimes. Who would have thought that she could have found a perfect way to take her revenge at this nightmare of a matsuri?  _

_ Honestly, playing the "no-relationship between teacher and student allowed" card with her, while he was actually doing the naughty with one of his male student, this stupid Takanori at that. Seriously. _

_ What an hypocrite. _

He didn't bother answering his father. That was useless. 

He looked at Tora helplessly, and Tora tried to smile painfully. 

"So... What now?" His voice was hoarse.

"I'm going to tell you what now, you degenerated bastard!" His father answered.

The director had sighed, clearly done with the way Mr matsumoto was handling the situation.

"Mister Matsumoto, please. Let's try to stay calm. First, Takanori, you have to understand that you can explain yourself without fear, right? You can tell us everything. I know it must be hard but sometimes, it's easy to let yourself been convinced to do things you don't want to, even more so when it's someone you respect and who's in position of power towards you. You understand? You don't have to be afraid of any repercussions, because the police will take care of Amano-sensei's case right after this interview. You'll probably have to let your testimony to them too, and-"

Takanori shook his head, confused. What the fuck again? 

"Wait-wait-wait!!! What?"

The director ignored his interruption.

"-we know you might have been forced in some way into that relationship, but you're young and impressionable, and it's not something you have to be ashamed-"

Takanori understood now, what they were trying to do.If the director was angry, it was because he thought Tora had somehow seduced Takanori against his will, and he wanted Takanori to feel safe to explain them just that. 

"NO! Nobody forced me into anything... Tora- I mean, Amano-sensei- would never do this. He's the kindest and more honest man I know. If anything, I was the one that forced him into this relationship. He thought I was too young, and he was scared for me. He always made sure to take care of my well being, above everything else. And I won't say anything to the police, because there's nothing else to say but this: I love him."

"You little piece of shit! I've always known you weren't normal, I could feel it-"

"I wonder how you could feel anything about me, since you've never been there for me, and you've never given a fuck about anything I could live, feel, or do. You've been the worst father ever since mom died, and the only thing that can trigger a reaction out of you is that I'm in love with someone you don't approve? Let me laugh." Takanori spat with all the despise he felt for the man.

"Oh, you want me to react, boy?" His father's voice was dripping with venom."Here we go! What about sending the man you love -now let _me_ laugh, what a joke- in jail for many years for corruption of a minor and abuse of power? What about sending you in a private clinic to try to heal these filthy instincts of yours? And then send you in a boarding school far away from here, to avoid myself the shame of having you around? What about that, hu?" 

The cruel smirk on his father's face was all it took for Takanori to understand where they trully stood.

They'd lost. 

Shock and dread froze him on his spot.

"Mister Matsumoto, I understand that you're mad, and I can only imagine how upset you might be about this situation. I'm not trying to make you change your mind about me, I will take my responsibilities and accept whatever you want me to submit to, but Takanori doesn't have to be punished. He-" Takanori interrupted Tora's firsts words since he'd came into the office.

"Shut up, Tora. I don't need no knight in shining armour." 

Takanori's mind was working at full speed, trying to find a way to escape the fate his father had just set up for them. He couldn't let Tora go to jail. He had to figure out something, anything. What was his father's weakness? What could he use to make him change his mind? His father had no interest in life, he was stupidly entitled to his job, and nothing could really touch his cold dead heart since his wife's death, not even his only son. Except... Maybe... The man was always complaining about how much money he had to pay to feed him, to give him a proper education, even if Takanori was working on summer breaks, or washing cars, mowing lawns and walking dogs all around their neighborhood to have his own income of money and pay his clothes and stuff. 

And he knew that his father wouldn't be satisfied until he'd humiliated him. He swallowed any pride he could still have at this point, and began to talk very calmly, not letting the fear that was twisting his guts getting the best out of him.

"Father. I know how much of a disappointment I am for you. And I also know that the clinics and boarding school you mentionned cost a lot of money that you probably don't want to spend on me. I know I'm not in a position to ask for anything, but I'm willing to make you an offer. I'm ready to sign an emancipation form, right now. I will do it, and disappear from your life, just like you've wanted it for a long time."

His father looked at him with an arched eyebrow, looking utterly surprised.

"And why would you do that?"

"I only ask you to leave Tora alone. Let him go, don't report him to the police. He has nothing to do 

with the non-existent relationship you and I have together, and he doesn't deserve this. You want to break someone? Break me." And on a whim, and because he knew he had so much more to lose than just his dignity, he fell on his knees, making Tora gasp.

"Taka, don't-"

Nakamura sensei seemed to come back to life then, catching Tora who'd just stood up and making him sit with a slight frown and a shake of his head. If Tora didn't understand what Taka was doing, the old teacher did.

Mr Matsumoto's face grew smug. He knew he had the power to do just what Takanori said, break him. And so he did.

"It's okay. I will let him go free."

Takanori didn't allow himself to breathe or to feel relief. He knew his father too well, and he knew it couldn't be as simple. 

"But I have my conditions, too. First, I don't ever want to see or hear from you again. You're leaving tomorrow, and only take what's yours before doing so. And you'll never ask me for anything again, especially not money."

"But, Mister Matsumoto, Takanori is too young to live by himself and without money he'll probably-" 

"I don't care wether he'll be able or not to do anything by himself. That's not my problem anymore, and that's certainly not yours, mister director. Those are my terms. And secondly, this _man_ is going to leave the town tonight, and will never come back. I'll watch, and if I learn that he contacted you in any way, I'll report him to the police and make sure he won't come out of jail until he's grey and old. Do we have a deal?"

Takanori was still on his knees, and as he processed the words his father just told, defeat was all he could feel. Of course his father wouldn't let him have any chance to be happy. Of course he would take anything from him. And his world was crashing down, but it wasn't important, for now, because-

"Taka, no, I can't let you-"

Mister Matsumoto chose to ignore Tora's words.

"I said. Do.We. Have. A. Deal?"

"Yes. Yes we do. Can we have some minutes alone, please? Maybe while you download the legal forms for us to fill?"

His father was about to refuse, but the director took pity on Takanori.

"I need you to sign some papers, too, Mister Matsumoto. We're forced to fire your son, just like we couldn't have kept Amano-Sensei even if you hadn't ask him to leave. Please, follow me."

Takanori's father shot them a venomous glare, while the director was dragging him out of the room in his assistant's office.

Nakamura Sensei followed them, but not without helping Takanori to get up, and he hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry, boys. Trully." And it wasn't difficult to believe him, since his eyes were full of tears. He closed the door behind him. 

Here they were, face to face, Tora's hagard eyes meeting Taka's. 

"Taka, listen, I can't let you do this for me, it's not-"

"Shut up, please. We don't have much time. And it's not like we have any choice."

"Yes we do. I'm ready to pay for what I did, you-"

"Oh my god, don't tell me I fell in love with the stupidest moron someone could find! You don't realize, right? You really have no idea of what is going to happen to you if they send you to jail?"

"I'll make my time, and then I'll be free, that's what's going to happen!"

"NO! Do you have any idea of the things that happen to child rapists in jail? Of the the things they will do to YOU?"

Tora paled.

"Child rapist? What are you talking about? I didn't rape you, I love you and-"

"Oh, and do you think they will took the time to check the informations when they'll read 'minor corruption' on your file? You'll be a child abuser for them, no matter how much we love each other." Takanori's voice was beginning to crack. "No matter how perfect you are."

And realization was hitting Tora at full force, as he was paling even more. They were trapped. 

"But... But there has to be a solution. Maybe we can find something-"

"There's no other way, Tora. And I'd rather kill myself if I had to live everyday of my life imagining you being mistreated and tortured in jail. I wouldn't bear it. I love you too much."

Tora began to cry. He reached for Taka's cheeks with his hands, and craddled Takanori's face.

"But... But I can't live without you, Taka. I don't want to go. I can't let you. And what are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna be just fine. I don't need anyone, this asshole has never taken care of me anyway. You have to be strong, baby, because we have no choice. And I know you're gonna be okay too, right? Promise me you will?"

Tora was shaking his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew Taka was right, but he didn't want to believe it. He just couldn't accept the situation.

"But-But-"

"Shhh, Tora, listen to me. We haven't much time left, you and I. I want you to promise me you're going to be ok. I won't be able to do this if I always worry about you, you know? I have to know this. Promise me, and then hold me and kiss me... One last time. Please."

Tora had never been able to deny Takanori anything. He loved him beyond reason and cherished him in a way he 'd never have thought possible. 

"I promise, I promise. And you have to promise, too."

"I do, Tora."

And just like for their very first kiss, Tora held Takanori close and looked at him straight in the eyes before leaning in and press his lips on his boyfriend's. But unlike their very first kiss, full of awe at the discovery that their feelings were reciprocated, their last one tasted like despair, like the end of the world, like ashes. 

"I'm gonna find a way to find you, I have to..."

"Don't. I beg you. For god's sake, Tora, don't put yourself in danger."

And as they heard footsteps and voices behind the door, Tora hugged Takanori one last time before he let him take a step back. 

"I love you, Takanori. Now and forever."

"Now and forever, Tora. Don't forget me, okay?" And Takanori burst into tears when the director opened the door, because he knew this was it, now. He'd lost Tora forever, and these were the last seconds he would ever see him. He forced himself to breathe as he saw his boyfriend's concern. 

He hiccuped violently when two policemen entered the room too.

"Hey, wait! We said-"

"I know the terms of our contract, Takanori. But this man has to leave the town now, and I want to be sure it will be done. So I asked two policemen friends of mine to take him at the train station and see that he's indeed going. Here, these are the forms you have to sign, I will make them certified by my lawyer first thing in the morning. You have until tomorrow evening to take all your things off my house. Any delay would invalidate our deal, and would send your professor to jail. Is that clear?"

Takanori didn't believe his heart could be broken more than it already was, having to break up things with the man he thought he could have loved until his death. But seeing his father so eager to get rid of him, so pleased with himself at the idea of never seeing his only son again... It broke something in Takanori, something he knew nobody would ever be able to fix at all. 

"Perfectly clear." He could barely speak.

"Ok, now Gentlemen, please make my day and take this man out of my sight." 

The two policemen nodded, and Tora didn't fight when they asked him to follow them. After a last glance at Takanori, as if to have a last memory of his boyfriend for him to take, he accompanied them out of the room, not bothering to hide his tears. Mister Nakamura insisted to escort Tora and the policemen, and he closed the door behind them all.

Takanori's father's smile was triumphant. He handled the papers to Takanori, whose mind had become completely numb. He was back on slow-motion again. He signed everything his father was asking him too. It was quick, and definitive. He'd just renounced to anything he could have had, his family (not that it was something that existed since his mother's death, he now had to face the truth) his home, his life... Tora. When the thought of his boyfriend hit him, Takanori let out a shaky breath and seemed to come back to life again. Tora. Tora was going to go and he would never see him again. A sudden fit of panic seized him and he threw the papers at his surprised father, and stormed out of the room, tumbling down the stairs more than anything else, running like if his life depended on it.

And somehow, it did. 

He reached the parking lot just in time to see the policemen unlocking their car.

"TORA!!!"

And he kept on running until he was throwing himself in his boyfriend's opened arms, and he couldn't stop sobbing helplessly, clutching Tora's shirt, repeating how much he loved him, how much he needed him, how much he didn't want him to go. Tora was craddling him, rocking him softly, whispering words of love in his ear, crying as if it was the end of the world.

And somehow, it was. 

Their despair was so intense, so sincere, their pain was so overwhelming, that nobody had the heart to separate them, not even the policemen, who stayed there, still, now uncomfortable that they had to take part in something so heartbreaking. 

But you needed to have a heart to take pity on Takanori and Tora. To see how much they loved each other. To understand that separating them would make something in them die. 

And Mister Matsumoto's heart had died long ago. 

Takanori and Tora were far too gone in their grief to hear him at first, shouting like a madman from the windom from the second floor. It was Nakamura-Sensei, reluctantly, who grabbed their arms and made them come back to reality.

"...I SWEAR TO GOD, TAKANORI, IT'S THE LAST CHANCE I GIVE YOU TO STOP TO HUMILIATE ME! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW OR I'LL RIP THESE PAPERS AND THIS MAN WILL BE SENT TO JAIL! LAST WARNING!"

Takanori pulled himself together at his father's words. He took a step back from Tora's embrace.

"Taka, if you want to change your mind we will find-"

"We won't, Tora. We can't. There's no way out. I'm sorry. You have to go now, take care, 'kay?"

And with a nod and a look so sad it tore what little remained of Takanori's already wrecked soul, Tora slid himself on the back seat of the car. The policemen didn't lose time to start the engine, and then they were gone. Takanori felt like they ripped his heart out of his ribcage. 

And somehow they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. I'm so sorry I had to do this to these sweethearts. So sorry, indeed, that I may be considering doing an alternative ending of some sorts someday, something that could have happened in a parallel universe where Takanori wouldn't meet Akira... I don't know if this could interest some of you, don't hesitate to say if it does. I won't probably write it for now since i have so many WIP but I keep that in mind. I'd be really happy to write them a happy ending...

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading and please, please let me know what you thought <3


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